PG. 2009. Horrible comedy that will turn you off going for groceries. Shopping mall security guard Kevin James constantly annoys customers when he’s not stalking the girl in the hair salon. Jokes arrive deep frozen and past their use-by date. The sort of escapist comedy you want to escape from. Kier O’Donnell. 8.30pm, One
M. 2002. Neo-Nazis develop a plan to engulf the Superbowl in a nuclear holocaust and finger the Russians for the culprits thereby triggering WWIII. Tom Clancy thriller comes to the screen with a rickety plot but, after 9/11, it will resonate well with viewers who now suspect this could happen. Ben Affleck, Morgan Freeman. 9pm, Seven, Prime7
PG. 2003. Passed over for a job, reporter Jim Carrey complains to God, who unwisely lets him run things for a while, whereupon he shows what a jerk he is by using his powers selfishly (making his girlfriend’s breasts bigger). It’s fun for a while but it soon palls and Carrey becomes irritating. Morgan Freeman. 9pm, Ten, Ten SC
PG. 2009. There may have been a good reason for remaking (or ‘‘reimagining’’) the 1980 version Fame but it’s not apparent on screen. Once again we follow a bunch of kids going through a performance school from their freshman year to graduation – but it rather resembles a series of videos strung together with some dialogue. Kelsey Grammar, Bebe Neuwirth.
Don Rickles and actress Teri Hatcher at 209’s TV Land Awards ceremony.