To­tal Re­call a to­tal mess

The Gold Coast Bulletin - Play Magazine - - MOVIES -

has been dropped from the plot to be re­placed by Aus­tralia, known as The Colony, in di­rec­tor Len Wise­man’s bloated, ef­fects-heavy re­make of the 1990 sci-fi clas­sic To­tal Re­call. Con­nected by a trans­port sys­tem called The Fall, The Colony and the United Fed­er­a­tion of Bri­tain are the only in­hab­it­able places left on Earth. Yes – the three-boobed woman is still here, but Arnold Sch­warzeneg­ger and his hi­lar­i­ous one­lin­ers have been re­placed by Colin Far­rell as fac­tory worker Dou­glas Quaid. In an ef­fort to spice up his life, Dou­glas goes to a com­pany called Rekall that of­fers a mind-trip that makes your dreams feel like real mem­o­ries. But his joyride as a su­per-spy is cut short when he kills a group of of­fi­cers who claim he ac­tu­ally is a spy. When he re­turns home, he finds his wife Lori (Kate Beck­in­sale, pic­tured) is ac­tu­ally a cop de­ter­mined to kill him. From here, To­tal Re­call is es­sen­tially Quaid fig­ur­ing out if he’s trapped in a night­mare, or re­ally is a spy. A dream seems the only plau­si­ble rea­son for the bad di­a­logue, messy plot and the con­stant ac­tion, CGI and thump­ing mu­sic. Far­rell has nei­ther the lik­a­bil­ity or be­liev­able badass qual­ity of Arnie and the fight se­quences are clunky and slow. Bill Nighy ap­pears briefly as the leader of the un­der­ground re­sis­tance and Break­ing Bad’s Bryan Cranston is the evil Chan­cel­lor Co­haa­gen but it’s Beck­in­sale and Jes­sica Biel who come off best in the end.

opens to­day.

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