COMEDIAN AND RADIO HOST BRINGS HIS BEST WORST MOMENTS TO THE COAST
What have you got in store for us with Saturday’s shows? It’s actually one of my favourite shows I’ve ever done. It’s just all stories about me and all the different ways I’ve embarrassed myself over the past 12 months.
I don’t know if it’s in my nature or I’m just unlucky, but stuff just always seems to happen to me where I just seriously embarrass myself, and it’s always in front of a lot of people.
Like the whole situation with Justine from MasterChef where I accidentally liked a photo that was 32 weeks old. Everyone stalks but I got caught and I don’t know how I managed for my thumb to slip twice. I don’t have the shakes, I wasn’t nervous, but on that day my thumb betrayed me big time. Then the next minute everyone’s calling me a creep all over Instagram, there’s articles popping up and it got even worse ... How could it possibly get any worse? We were filming a cooking show and we were on location, coincidentally around the corner from where Justine lives, above a cafe. The guys were like: “Oh, let’s just meet at the cafe”, so I went there and I was waiting for everyone for like 20 minutes.
I was sitting under her house for 20 minutes, crouched in the corner trying to hide in case she came in or walked past. It’s one thing to stalk on Insta, but it’s another thing to stalk someone in person. You’re so selfless, laying all your embarrassments out to make everyone else feel better. To be honest, I feel like if my heart is beating and I’m nervous and have a fear of embarrassment, I know that it’s probably worth it. What’s the point in me suffering in
silence? Everyone who comes to my show will feel a lot better about themselves. You must have spent a bit of time here on the coast being a Brissy boy? I love the Goldie so much. Because I’m from Brisbane, going to the Gold Coast was the getaway.
I was five years old, hitting up SeaWorld Nara Resort as every family in the ‘90s did. The fact that you still have a Sizzler is testament to itself.
And who doesn’t want to go to Ripley’s and spend $58 to stand next to the world’s tallest man? At the end of the day I really, really genuinely love the Gold Coast, it cops heaps of unnecessary s**t. Any wild nights or memorable moments? I remember going to Schoolies when I was in year 11 because my girlfriend was in year 12, and I still cringe.
I’d caught the train down straight after school and turned up to Cavil Ave at the peak of Schoolies in my school uniform.
Nothing says you’re a loser more than being in your school uniform at Schoolies, and not even your own Schoolies. I might as well have been wearing a target saying: “Please throw stuff at me.” I saw her; she cringed and said: “Tell me you didn’t wear that all the way here.” That was it. We lasted a week after that. Hopefully this time around things will go more smoothly. I’m actually coming up a day beforehand so I have 24 hours to make an idiot of myself and work it into the show. I’m actually really looking forward to going to Rick Shores, they own a restaurant called Longtime up in Brisbane and they’re amazing.
I could actually be keen for an Elsewhere night. We were on the Gold Coast one time and tried to get in but they wouldn’t let us ‘cause Alex (Dyson) was wearing shorts. So we were like: “All good, we’ll go back to the hotel and you can put some pants on.” He was like: “I didn’t pack any pants.” He didn’t bring any pants on a two-day trip! You can’t go anywhere and not pack pants! So we started the hashtag #shortsindaclub to celebrate Alex Dyson not getting into Elsewhere because he didn’t pack any pants. But the real after-party is at The Arts Centre. There’s a secret lair that connects directly to a brewery. That’s where the elite go; it’s a secret society. Tupac is there, Elvis, Harambe – the best of the best. Let’s talk about your new song. It’s called Take Me Home. I worked with the producer C1 who’s worked with Allday and everything. It’s kind of an analogy or a metaphor for my relationship with the darker side of comedy. I’m nervous because people hear “comedian” and they just want joke raps. Like Rodney Rude? Yes! So it’s like, I’m really proud because it’s a proper step towards making music seriously. It’s definitely something I think people are generally shocked by.
When they’re listening from the first verse they say: “I can just hear your voice”, but once they get past the fact that it’s me they’re actually digging it. It’s definitely the first piece of a pretty big puzzle.
Not everything is a punchline and the way I see it I just have to think: “Would I be happy with my actions if I died tomorrow?” Because you could die tomorrow, you could get hit by a car, so why not get hit by a car that’s pumping your tune? Matt Okine, Saturday, The Arts Centre Gold Coast
NOTHING SAYS YOU’RE A LOSER MORE THAN BEING IN YOUR SCHOOL UNIFORM AT SCHOOLIES, AND NOT EVEN YOUR OWN SCHOOLIES.
Matt Okine had an unfortunte slip of the thumb on Instagram.