World of romance has become a minefield for young men

THERE are many shades of grey.

The conversation on sexual harassment is confusing. The interpretation of wording is entirely in the hands of the interpreter. It is well past time for some honest definition of the terms that are used.

What does “touched inappropriately” mean? Does it mean “poked in a personal place” or does it mean an arm around the shoulder?

Do we have to forego an appreciative pat on the back in order to avoid a slap on the behind? It is time we were more explicit about the kind of gestures we are talking about.

Personally, I would feel very sad that I’d never again hear an appreciative whistle, or a gallant gesture from an attractive man. Sadly, my maturity cancels out that possibility. The men we would find most acceptable these days are the ones who have become very timid about the risk of incurring a complaint from some person who is well aware of the power that can be used to destroy a man’s reputation.

Men who bully women deserve everything they get, but the result now is confusing messages for our young men. Some fault can be laid at the feet of the bystanders who do nothing to protect the victims, whether they are co-workers or managers

I have no doubt that there have been many small books in the past designed to instruct young chaps in the art of romance. It’s time for another one.

We have ignored the natural instincts that humans have and we have not provided the means for making them acceptable in our modern culture.

It is well past the time to clarify what we mean when we accuse a person of harassment and advise the ways and means to divert and prevent it.

It must also be acknowledged that much male and female behaviour is learned in the home under parental influence.