Little Stevie’s been a very naughty boy – he needs a serious lesson
IT’S time to tell the truth about consequences. They suck. In our household, if when a child behaves badly, this is their punishment.
We don’t detail exactly what the “consequence” will be … because that’s when the heat of the moment causes me to cancel Christmas.
Instead, the issuing of a catch-all consequence gives us time to consider the appropriate penance, and gives them time to fear its issuance.
It’s all about the anticipation. Which means, for years, all we needed to do was merely threaten an impending consequence and the behaviour would cease. Alas, those days are over. It’s a bitter disappointment for child and parent alike.
Because the thing about real consequences is that they hurt the issuer as much as the issuee.
If I ban screen-time for my kids, for example, guess what? I’m left dealing with a crying, sulking, bored child.
Ain’t nobody got time for that.
On the other hand, if I don’t ban screen time, I’m left dealing with a square-eyed moron who will continue to ignore his/her chores and homework.
The sensible option seems simple. And yet … it’s so hard for me to adhere to my admonishments.
A few tears, some raised voices and suddenly just letting them have their way seems so much better – anything for a few minutes of peace. It’s easier. But wrong. Without boundaries you only breed brats.
A conclusion that those at Cricket Australia must be realising right now.
Watching the news over the weekend, I felt like I should call CA to offer some parenting advice for the team of spoiled children under their care.
There’s no doubt that sacking Steve Smith would be every bit as hurtful to the parent body as it is to the boy captain.
They don’t want to lose their star player just as much as he doesn’t want to step out of the spotlight.
Even worse, the only conceivable replacement is David Warner – a player who perfectly fits the bill of spoiled only child. “Does not play well with others.”
But this team has obviously been lacking stern parental guidance for far too long. And now the consequences are being felt by a whole nation of sporting lovers.
It’s just not cricket. This was not a “mistake”, it was cheating. It’s awful to realise that your child has done something wrong – that their integrity is not as you imagined. But the good parent steps up and accepts it – and issues the consequence.
The tougher the sentence, the sooner the lesson is learned.
It’s the only way to ensure your beloved becomes the person you want them to be. In sport, as in life, behaviour should come before all.
Fortunately, in our family – Team Moore – we underwent a watershed moment last week. We cancelled a sleepover. In cricketing terms, this was like sacking Steve Smith. (We tend towards the melodramatic.)
There were sobs of anguish – from my distraught daughter, from her frustrated BFF … and especially from us put-out parents. We were so looking forward to a night off from pre-adolescent angst.
I was ready to relent but my husband stood firm. We were going to make this consequence stick … we just had to ride out the weekend.
The BFF’s mum called me to congratulate my growth of a spine – alas, I had to confess I’d only borrowed my husband’s, but still, that’s progress.
It was a long 24 hours, but this week we can already recognise the result.
Suddenly, the threat of a consequence again carries power.
As, once more, do we. Even better, the other members of our team realise that we say what we mean and we mean what we say. The little attitudes in our house are still large, but they come accompanied with some selfawareness and apologies these past few days.
So, Cricketing Australia, back your own backbone. No more sleepovers for little Stevie. Not until he’s proved he’s learned his lesson.
He needs to know you will turn this team bus around if there’s not better behaviour.
Consequences stink — but not as much as our reputation right now.
WITHOUT BOUNDARIES YOU ONLY BREED BRATS ... A CONCLUSION THOSE AT CRICKET AUSTRALIA MUST BE REALISING RIGHT NOW