OFF THE RECORD
WELL known, well-heeled man about town left his wallet bulging with cash in a coffee shop. Luckily it was found by a kind lady who opened it, found his details and rang to tell him the good news. Did he offer a reward or even a simple “thank you”? Nope! He only snorted that he hoped she hadn’t taken any of the money and even wanted her to drive to his home to deliver it. Maybe next time he won’t find someone so decent.
There’s not much to laugh about re the ball tampering scandal engulfing the Australian cricket team in South Africa. Except for the words of scorn being heaped upon the team by one man about town who declared loudly to his group that he can’t stand cheating. Some wry smiles and look of disbelief from those around him who know that he has racked up a cricket score of times he has cheated on his wife. Maybe he thinks playing away from home doesn’t count.
One certain way to increase your popularity is to be responsible for the invitations to the lavish opening of a new much hyped venture. Our spies tell us that the phone rang nonstop for requests to just such an opening last weekend – try and guess – with connections, favours and fake credentials used to try to secure an invite. Even the organiser, who has done hundreds of these openings, was astonished at the level of desperation shown by those not on the allimportant list.
The wedding presents were piled high at this extravagant wedding recently. As the night wore on this perennial prankster thought it would be a good joke to sneakily swap some of the cards on the presents. How this will play out for those who went above and beyond in the gift giving only to suddenly have their name attached to a cut price toaster is yet to be determined.
Deciding to open a new eatery this dame wanted to make a name for herself by sparing no expense on the crockery and china. Her reasoning was simple – spend a bit more and attract a better class of customers. Did it work? Partially – she attracted what she thought were the right people but sadly they turned out to be career kleptomaniacs. In particular she bought 60 expensive, quite large glass bowls which she planned to use for one of her signature dishes. Sad to say that within six months all but three had been stolen, secreted away in those large oversized handbags.