OFF THE RECORD
WHAT’S in a name? It was a moment of forgetfulness for this ditzy dude when he accidentally called a pretty young thing by the wrong name. Knowing he was a good mate of her boyfriend, she immediately put two and two together and came up with three — as in ménage à trois. Endless questions have since rained down on the ever-loving boyfriend about the identity of the mystery woman. Sadly, his protestations of innocence are being met with increasing fury. The irony is that if she keeps insisting of his guilt it may drive him into the arms of another thus making her unfounded suspicions a self-fulfilling prophecy.
A DISABLED parking permit is meant to be used only for the benefit of those less fortunate souls who need to find an easily accessible and convenient car space. Why then is this fit and healthy well known man still using a permit which was issued to his late mother who died six months ago? Yes, he used to drive her to the shops and doctor’s appointments but now he is obviously just being selfish and lazy by taking the spot from someone who really needs it. As Derryn would say – Shame! Shame! Shame!
WE love a leader in his field who possesses psychic abilities. Asked to be on an early morning television show to talk about this, that and the other, he was quite specific to the producers about when he would be available. Knowing that he had two big functions to attend at the weekend he stipulated that the earliest time for him would be Tuesday morning. “I knew I was going to be hammered on Saturday and Sunday and television adds years so I would need at least a day to get myself looking half decent,” he explained with a laugh. Honesty is always the best policy.
WE’RE all for self-belief, mind over matter and pumping yourself up to achieve a desired result but maybe this long-inthe-tooth lounge lizard needs to consider the significant age difference between himself and the young women he is chasing. Never short of confidence, he is often seen at his favourite haunts ogling the passing parade of pretty young things heading out for a night of fun. Yes, he has money, flash car and nice clothes but the look of disbelief on the faces of his intended targets when he approaches them should be an instant sign that he is batting way out of his league. Time to lower your sights and raise the age of your potential loves, old boy.