In Light of Recent Events
Hey, ladies! Check out these #MeToo-era Tinder profiles you may have missed.
KEITH, 47 Former child star of ‘Hey, That’s My Pizza!’
Looking to forgive a wounded victim of a ferocious #MeToo campaign whose life has been irrevocably destroyed? Girls, I’m the man for you!
SHANE, 47 Networks operative (inbound)
Because you totally need a guy to pat on the back, compliment regularly and put up with no matter how much he talks over you.
NATHAN, 47 Logistics analyst
Lonely, with much mansplaining to give and manspreading to share.
STEVE, 47 Civil complaints complainant
Am into model ship building, online VR gaming and long walks on the beach in the rain by myself. Leave me the hell alone!
JASON, 47 Freelance team builder
Not on Tinder to meet people per se, just stalking my ex! (Jenny, if you’re reading this, I still wuv you. Also, where’d you hide the AC remote?)
PHIL, 47 Sessional tutorial assistant (casual)
PhD in women’s studies. Basically wrote the book on what it’s like to be a woman, from a man’s perspective! Creator of #MeTooToo.
CRISPIN, 47 Social-media commenter (full time)
Enthusiastic men’s rights activist involved in campaigns to stop paternity fraud, male circumcision and widespread female privilege. Nonsmoker.
PAUL, 47 Systems consultee
Sooky. Sulky. Atrocious listener. (Mummy didn’t love me.)