KEEP IT UNDER WRAPS
IT IS ALL WELL AND GOOD TO BE YOURSELF, JUST MAKE SURE YOU KEEP THE LESS SOPHISTICATED PARTS TO YOURSELF
Folks, from what I can tell, we’re all broken in some small but vital way. It’s either that or I’m not hanging out with normal people. Still, even the most got-it-all-together, stock standard human beings have their quirks and foibles. Heaven knows I’ve got a few, plus I’m fairly certain my Long Suffering Wife could provide you with an extensive list of the things I do that make her commit violence in her heart on a daily basis; probably. But, for the most part, like everyone else I keep the really weird stuff well hidden. I mean seriously well hidden. Especially when I meet someone for the first time. Because the last thing I want anyone to see is what I’m really like before I’ve had the chance to explain why I’m like I am. Not that I understand it myself but, if given the choice, I’ll always present my outgoing, happy-go-lucky self to the world, rather than the anxiety-riddled, fretful, over-thinking wreck that I am. We all would, and often do. But I’ve been reading a book on the topic, which has also been annoying my wife. Apparently normal people don’t lie in bed of a night reading while noisily munching their way through a large bag of potato chips. She also had quite a lot to say about the crumbs, the brightness of my bedside lamp and the fact I was propping my book against the back of her head. Anyway, after she’d stomped off to the spare room I continued to ponder the subject of presenting our best, broken selves to the world. Perhaps, on first dates, young suitors should begin with a frank discussion of the numerous ways they are slightly nuts. If the other person doesn’t run shrieking from the room then serious consideration can be given to building an ongoing relationship. It would save a lot of nasty surprises down the track. The trick is not to go all ‘American’ and horrify strangers with graphic accounts of our bowel movements or recent surgical procedures. Obviously, we have to have some secrets.