MICHELLE COLLINS

The Sunday Mail (Queensland) - - NEWS -

The per­ils of au­to­matic tran­scrip­tion. Jour­nal­ist was puz­zling over a ref­er­ence to “beer moths” in a Kerry O’Brien ad­dress on the sub­ject of the Right to In­for­ma­tion. Turns out the for­mer ABC cur­rent af­fairs host was talk­ing about “be­he­moths”. A sign out­side a va­cant su­per­mar­ket in Lai­d­ley, some 83km west of Bris­bane, reads as fol­lows: “Un­der new man­age­ment. Please bare with us as we make changes and im­prove­ments.” Our lo­cal shop­per spy says that no mat­ter how un­bear­ably hot the weather gets, he’s not chang­ing his mind and bar­ing any­thing else. That just wouldn’t im­prove things, he reck­ons. North­side mum took along her other half to a hos­pi­tal ap­point­ment to get the low­down about an im­pend­ing date with a sur­geon. “You will need at least two weeks’ bed rest,” said the spe­cial­ist, be­fore cast­ing her eyes di­rectly at hubby, and ad­ding: “And then I rec­om­mend no house­work for at least 10 years.” Get­ting es­presso to the point. A sign no­ticed out­side one in­ner-city cof­fee shop the other day: “May your cof­fee kick in be­fore your re­al­ity does.” South­side Good­mailer, out mow­ing his grass while plugged into some cool blues mu­sic via the on­line app Spo­tify, was stunned when the Queens­land State Elec­tion shat­tered his rhyth­mi­cal reverie. Queens­land Premier Anna asked lis­ten­ers to for­give her for break­ing ra­dio si­lence to ap­peal for their vote and then launched into a spiel. The Her­itage Cen­tre at Kil­lar­ney on the Dar­ling Downs, 35km south­east of Warwick, has is­sued an alert that the tor­nado/se­vere storm that de­stroyed much of the town on 22 Novem­ber 1968 has not been for­got­ten. In­deed, Kil­lar­ney and the District His­tor­i­cal So­ci­ety hopes to wel­come vis­i­tors in 12 months’ time for an an­niver­sary din­ner and re-re­lease of the 50 year an­niver­sary Storm book con­tain­ing pic­tures and sto­ries of the event. The so­ci­ety is hop­ing not only res­i­dents and for­mer res­i­dents will turn out but also those who came to help with the clean-up. You can find out more on their Face­book page. From our Rochedale South correspondent comes this tale of an eight-year-old boy liv­ing on the Gold Coast. The lad, whose home is on one of the wa­ter­ways, spot­ted birds get­ting ex­cited one morn­ing and alerted his next door neigh­bour — a keen fish­er­man. They were soon throw­ing a line in and each caught a good trevally. Neigh­bour com­mented that the young lad was lucky to be able to fish be­fore school. His re­ply: ‘I’m just liv­ing the dream, my friend!” Op­er­a­tors of the Been­leigh Town Square Mar­kets sent a joke in along with the no­tice about the up­com­ing yuletide mar­kets on De­cem­ber 8. What do you call a broke Santa? Give up yet? It’s Saint-NICKEL-LESS! JOKE OF THE WEEK A woman an­swered the door­bell with a man stand­ing on her porch. The man said, “I’m ter­ri­bly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to re­place it for you.” The woman replied, “Well, that’s all right with me, but how are you at catch­ing mice?”

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Australia

© PressReader. All rights reserved.