shares her se­crets to life (tip: don’t be a killjoy).

The Sunday Telegraph (Sydney) - Stellar - - Contents - Kate co-hosts Hugh­esy & Kate, 4–6pm week­days, on the KIIS FM net­work.

My mother, who has a strong game in gal­lows hu­mour, is fond of say­ing: “Get­ting old isn’t much fun, but it sure beats the al­ter­na­tive!”

And it is re­mark­able, isn’t it, our will to live? The way you some­times see a per­son mak­ing their way up the street, clearly bent or maybe even bro­ken, painfully stick­ing their way along or curved over a walker withth a bag of gro­ceries, not able to moveve at more than a shuf­fle – butt out, see­ing the im­me­di­ate world; orld; alive. It is wor­thy of re­spect. pect.

And therein lies the se­cret to life. Par­tic­i­pa­tion.on.

I have lived enough years now that I have gleaned a lit­tle bit of wis­dom. And if you are not fa­mil­iar with me, al­low me to es­tab­lish my life cre­den­tials. I am in that sweet spot of life; too old to be pos­ing on In­sta­gram do­ing a beer bong in a bikini, but young ng enough to not be on the news for plough­ing into a chemist-shop win­dow, hav­ing con­fused the ac­cel­er­a­tor for the brake.

Along the way, I have learnt a few things that have stood me in good stead. 1. If you have the choice to laugh, or get an­gry, choose the for­mer. I’ve spent time in the com­pany of an­gry peo­ple, and happy peo­ple, and I know which I pre­fer. While the world (and Twit­ter) likes to think tub-thump­ing anger is a more le­git­i­mate re­sponse than amuse­ment, I dis­agree. Life will al­ways throw up frus­tra­tions and in­jus­tices and an­noyan an­noy­ances. To tackle those with hu hu­mour is a prac­tised art. 2. Some Some­times peo­ple “vic­tim­blame” be­cause the vic­tim is to bla blame. 3. Pan Pan­cake bat­ter is al­ways bett bet­ter made the night be be­fore. So is bolog­nese sauce, cheese­cake, school as­sign­ments, and any­thing in­volv­ing a dead­line. (Yes, ed­i­tor.) 4. If you have a beef with so some­one, never put it in wr writ­ing. For while sticks and stones can break bones, word words have the power to wou wound soul-deep. Don’t leave a foot­print­foo for any­one to mull over, or worse, bran­dish again against you in the fu­ture. 5. Wo Words of love, by con­trast, shoul should be writ­ten, shouted, sung, a and en­graved. Never be silen­twsi­lent with your love. 6. On ho hol­i­day, buy your sou­venirs when yo you see them. Don’t say “I’ll com come back later,” be­cause mostly, you won’t. Or you’ll ruin your last day try­ing to re­trace your steps to that sarong/can­dle/tooled-leather shop.

7. If it’s a dress-up party, dress up. If you’re at karaoke, sing. At a wed­ding, dance. Don’t be the killjoy. No one thinks you’re cool for not par­tic­i­pat­ing, they just don’t think about you. They’re too busy hav­ing fun.

8. Don’t sing, wear silly dress-ups, or dance like a fool, just be­cause some id­iot in a mag­a­zine tells you to. 9. Don’t re­fer to colum­nists as id­iots. It’s not nice. Plus, as some­one wiser than me once said: “Never pick a fight with some­one who buys ink by the barrel.” 10. Don’t pick fights, pe­riod. Se­ri­ously, what is wrong with you? 11. Ex­er­cise ev­ery day. Or at least, ev­ery sec­ond day. 12. Make a new friend ev­ery year. 13. Above all, re­spect your el­ders. As a lovely older lady at my lo­cal op shop once said to me: “I have been a child, and I’ve been your age. You haven’t been mine.”

I be­lieve she was on her way to the chemist shop.

“Words of love should be writ­ten, shouted, sung and en­graved. Never be si­lent”

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