Bernard Salt: Living it up on borrowed time. Susan Kurosawa: Letting loose the mongrel. Mystic Medusa
Scorpio: Until June you’ll spend time rewriting assumptions and possibly awakening dormant love/lust.
I know bragging doesn’t come naturally to Australians so I won’t put you in a difficult position by asking you to explain exactly how well-off you are, so I’m going to say what you cannot.
If you look at the way we as a nation once lived and compare that with the way we live today then clearly we Aussies have done pretty well for ourselves.
Housing was once three bedrooms, one bathroom, whereas today it is four bedrooms, two bathrooms. Holidays were once car-and-caravan road trips to Coolangatta whereas today there are overseas jaunts to Bali, for families. Families! And that’s just for Easter.
And while we are lolling about the pool in Bali or Phuket or Fiji on a bit of a rest — because we’ve worked so hard and deserve it — we might have a massage or better still a wonderfully healing aromatic spa treatment. A bit of pampering never goes astray, don’t you think?
And it’s not like we are selfish and uncaring; we are more than happy to upload (edited) pictures to Facebook for all our friends to share in the experience. Here’s me at the pool. And here’s me having a spa. Here we are having dinner. Got a bit dolled up for that one. Weather’s divine. Don’t want to come home (sad face emoticon).
I’m sorry, Australia, but the cat is out of the bag. Poor people do not do this or at least not in the numbers we seem to manage. Then there’s the way we dress. Branded clothing is all the go, not just for adults but also for kids.
Hello, generation Y. Do you realise that back in the dark ages kids in big families wore hand-me-downs? Do you know what a hand-me-down is? It’s when an older brother or sister grows out of an item of clothing and it’s passed on to a younger sibling. Yes, to wear. Sometimes hand-me-downs came from cousins. Cousins!
Then there’s the way we eat: clearly evidence of a successful people. There are sidewalk cafes and swish restaurants filled with carefree people laughing and drinking and eating meals that can range from $20 for a basic smashed avocado with crumbled feta on five-grain toast (with a chilli jam side) to more than $40 for a main course in a fancypants restaurant.
So many lifestyle places, so much branded clothing, so many overseas jaunts cannot be supported by just a few really, really rich people. This is middle-class prosperity writ large. Everyone is doing it. Everyone!
And that is why we Aussies should be proud of our success; so many people living such a lavish lifestyle can only mean we are better off today than we once were. Well done, Australia! I’m sorry what’s that you say? You’re feeling a bit guilty? Really? Why? Because you’re not really rich at all but you quite like living a rich lifestyle? I’m sorry but how does that work? If you don’t have the money then how can you …? Oh, I see. Credit. No mortgage. Living from week to week. You mean to tell me that the Australian nation is full of rich fakers? Fakers! Time to return to base, Australia. Time to live within our means. Hello everyone, do you know what is meant by the term “to live within your means”? Because I suspect this old-fashioned and dated concept may need to be dusted off, given a bit of a makeover and revived.