Drown­ing in guilt

The Weekend Australian - Magazine - - Front Page -

I wanted to laugh and grab a glass of vino at the re­al­i­sa­tion I’m not the only one with no work/life bal­ance (“Work­ing lies”, Sep 1-2). I’d been feel­ing hard done by be­cause I’m a sin­gle mum to two boys un­der six, I work three days and I’m on med­i­ca­tion for chronic in­som­nia and de­pres­sion that knocks me out for nine hours at a time. I don’t have the time to sleep that long! I felt like the only one who has a per­ma­nent moun­tain of clean wash­ing, or who stands to the side while the non-work­ing kindy mums give each other daily hugs. At work, I feel guilty that I can’t give more; at home, I feel guilty I don’t give enough time to my boys. Hell, I even feel guilty about feel­ing guilty. You will be in­un­dated with letters. A flood is hap­pen­ing; we’re all awash in it. Ni­cole Watts

Bal­la­jura, WA

I have seen and ex­pe­ri­enced al­most ev­ery sit­u­a­tion the women in this ar­ti­cle shared yet I con­sider my­self one of the lucky ones. As a business owner I have flex­i­bil­ity, mostly, as to how I run my life, and I am able to ex­tend that flex­i­bil­ity to my staff. An­gela Fer­gu­son Mel­bourne, Vic

This is not only a prob­lem for women. Men who are suc­cess­ful in their ca­reers in­evitably miss out on many of the joys of be­ing a par­ent and if women en­deav­our to be to­tally en­gaged with both work and fam­ily it is in­evitable they will be stressed and be­come burnt out. Some­thing has to give. Nicholas In­gram Rich­mond, Vic

I ten­ta­tively shared Chris­tine Arm­strong’s provoca­tive yet strangely re­as­sur­ing ar­ti­cle with my ca­reer-minded daugh­ter, who promptly shared it with her cor­po­rate and so­cial worlds. Why have we not pre­vi­ously iden­ti­fied the true face of such com­mon­place dis­tress? This grand­mother would love to see real, life-sav­ing change for a gen­er­a­tion of won­der­ful, ca­pa­ble young women, and their in­no­cent and de­serv­ing chil­dren.

Sue Walker Burn­side, SA

“Work­ing lies” re­minded me of some­thing an older woman told me years ago when I, too, was try­ing to jug­gle a de­mand­ing job and raise four young chil­dren: “Women can have it all, they just can’t have it all at once.” It changed my life.

Wanda Dun­net Narrabri, NSW

My hus­band and I made the de­ci­sion for one of us to stay home. I work while he does ev­ery­thing like clock­work and I do ap­pre­ci­ate it. We may not have the fancy hol­i­days or car but we do have two chil­dren who have the at­ten­tion of one par­ent all the time. Life’s too short to miss that first decade of a child’s life. En­joy it while you can. Wendy Beggs

Clare, SA

As a de­voted hus­band, no ar­gu­ment here – just cruel irony, run­ning your story on Father’s Day week­end. My dar­ling wife is the true hero; she gladly gave up a ca­reer to stay home to care for our dis­abled child. There are de­voted hus­bands, part­ners and fa­thers whose op­tions for work-life bal­ance are non-ex­is­tent too, but we go on in shared ser­vice, with grace and love.

James Jarvis Graceville, Qld

When we re­tired 11 years ago, our daugh­ter an­nounced she had given 10 years to her chil­dren (then aged 10, eight and four) and promptly re­turned to her ca­reer. We are proud of her achieve­ments but we have done our bit for 11 years and we’re still on call as she trav­els fre­quently. The grand­par­ents are also strug­gling to cope! Not sure this is what we planned for our re­tire­ment.

Name & ad­dress pro­vided Rod Bower made se­ri­ous and in­ac­cu­rate ac­cu­sa­tions against me in his re­cent ar­ti­cle: “The spokesper­son lead­ing this ac­tual act of ter­ror­ism against Fleurieu on the anti-Halal web­site Halal Choices was of course un­able to sub­stan­ti­ate her claims. Ap­palled by this gross act of bul­ly­ing…” An “ac­tual act of ter­ror­ism?” This is to­tally in­ac­cu­rate and re­veals that Bower doesn’t know what the word ter­ror­ism means. His ac­cu­sa­tions re­gard­ing ter­ror­ism and bul­ly­ing are not sup­ported with any ev­i­dence. As the di­rec­tor of Halal Choices I call for choice. I high­light the fact that most prod­ucts are not clearly la­belled so con­sumers don’t have a choice. Bower has no ev­i­dence of me bul­ly­ing Fleurieu be­cause it doesn’t ex­ist.

Kir­ralie Smith

Mid North Coast, NSW

For my­self, and I’m sure many other Aus­tralians, Father Rod Bower stands out like a bea­con of light in dark times. Here is a man who speaks for those of us who want to “reach out across cul­tural, eth­nic and re­li­gious bound­aries and recog­nise and cel­e­brate our shared hu­man­ity”. Thank God for Father Rod Bower. An­nemarie Mal­colm Mar­garet River, WA

The writer of Septem­ber’s best let­ter will re­ceive a 12-month sup­ply of skin­care, val­ued at $500, from Aus­tralian brand Du’it. duit.com.au

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Australia

© PressReader. All rights reserved.