Sea Patrol, 8.30pm, Nine The HMAS Hammersley comes across a boat fishing illegally for sharks. But the crew don’t speak English and haven’t a clue what Lisa McCune is on about. For a little romantic tension, Hammersley puts the fishing boat in tow and nips over to Bright Island to collect the frequently lost Dr Ursula Morrell ( Sibylla Budd, pictured). XO Kate McGregor ( McCune) is not happy. With an eye patch for a crew member and a few spare parts for the Hammersley, it’s off to the Delta quadrant to catch the mother ship. But some pesky eco- militants make trouble for our romantically flustered heroes. BBQ Championship, 9.30pm, LifeStyle Food ‘‘ Where culinary combat is waged over embers and smoke,’’ booms a portentous voice while the Acme reality show music grinds away, trying to make things sound lofty and serious. Though there is a prize of $ 75,000 for the winner, you’d have to pay me more than that to watch this half- baked reality slop again. Mark Philippoussis’ Age Of Love, 10.20pm, Seven The playground drama grinds on, with the Poo whittling down his options. Tonight, in shades of Big Brother , the young women have to move in with the old women so that some sparks can be manufactured. Then it’s off to join Philippoussis, waiting calmly, trussed up in a tux, on a luxury yacht. Whose wily ways will win the Wimbledon wombat’s heart?