They pine for toaster as you look for re­mote

Jon & Kate Plus 8 8.30pm, Dis­cov­ery Home & Health

The Weekend Australian - Review - - Tv - Si­mon Can­ning

YOU know that feel­ing at a func­tion when you sud­denly find your­self en­snared by some­one who can’t shut up about their kids? How cute they are, how great, how amaz­ing the latest mes­sage left in their nappy?

Well, the ad­di­tion of a cam­era team does not make th­ese peo­ple any less tire­some.

On the face of things, Jon & Kate Plus 8 looks to have the mak­ings of mildly divert­ing half hour of en­ter­tain­ment. A cou­ple with two kids, thanks to the won­ders of in- vitro fer­til­i­sa­tion, try for a third and wind up with six more.

Surely the daily tri­als and tribu­la­tions of a cou­ple try­ing to keep a pair of six- year- olds and a half- dozen twoyear- olds in check would be vaguely en­ter­tain­ing, with the added fac­tor of the viewer be­ing able to settle back in the sofa and sigh: ‘‘ Thank god that’s not me.’’

Sadly, though, this is Eight is Enough with­out the sup­port of a crack Hol­ly­wood writ­ing team.

To put it bluntly, while Jon and Kate and their brood may be very nice peo­ple, they are bor­ing. More bor­ing than any self- ob­sessed par­ent you have met.

‘‘ It might be crazy, but it’s our life,’’ they jest at the be­gin­ning.

No guys, it’s not crazy, fun, wacko or any other ad­jec­tive you may choose to ap­ply. It’s just dull. Even the kids get that.

‘‘ The girls tell me: ‘ Mummy you’re bor­ing,’ ’’ Kate jokes. Per­cep­tive kids. Per­cep­tive, but dull.

This mer­ci­fully short 23 min­utes of television of­fers no real in­sight into the bat­tle to raise a home- grown rugby union scrum other than re­port- ing that they change a lot of nap­pies and pine for a six- slot toaster.

Yes, they are for­ever sleep de­prived ( show me a par­ent who is not), but their folksy fire­side chat about what a great team they make borders on drivel.

Hav­ing come from a house of a mere three boys ( and with­out want­ing to be­come ‘‘ one of those par­ents’’), I could re­gale you with tales of chal­lenge, hor­ror and un­mit­i­gated joy from the past 24 hours alone that I’m sure would at once ap­pal and amuse you.

Yet Jon and Kate Plus 8 fails to in­ject any sense of the daily drama en­dured by most fam­i­lies with half the off­spring.

When the en­tire brood plunge head­long into a corn maze, you se­cretly pray the lot get lost and you can turn your at­ten­tion to some­thing more en­gag­ing.

Like watch­ing the bath drain.

IVF bonuses: The clan from the re­al­ity show Jon & Kate Plus 8

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