They pine for toaster as you look for remote
Jon & Kate Plus 8 8.30pm, Discovery Home & Health
YOU know that feeling at a function when you suddenly find yourself ensnared by someone who can’t shut up about their kids? How cute they are, how great, how amazing the latest message left in their nappy?
Well, the addition of a camera team does not make these people any less tiresome.
On the face of things, Jon & Kate Plus 8 looks to have the makings of mildly diverting half hour of entertainment. A couple with two kids, thanks to the wonders of in- vitro fertilisation, try for a third and wind up with six more.
Surely the daily trials and tribulations of a couple trying to keep a pair of six- year- olds and a half- dozen twoyear- olds in check would be vaguely entertaining, with the added factor of the viewer being able to settle back in the sofa and sigh: ‘‘ Thank god that’s not me.’’
Sadly, though, this is Eight is Enough without the support of a crack Hollywood writing team.
To put it bluntly, while Jon and Kate and their brood may be very nice people, they are boring. More boring than any self- obsessed parent you have met.
‘‘ It might be crazy, but it’s our life,’’ they jest at the beginning.
No guys, it’s not crazy, fun, wacko or any other adjective you may choose to apply. It’s just dull. Even the kids get that.
‘‘ The girls tell me: ‘ Mummy you’re boring,’ ’’ Kate jokes. Perceptive kids. Perceptive, but dull.
This mercifully short 23 minutes of television offers no real insight into the battle to raise a home- grown rugby union scrum other than report- ing that they change a lot of nappies and pine for a six- slot toaster.
Yes, they are forever sleep deprived ( show me a parent who is not), but their folksy fireside chat about what a great team they make borders on drivel.
Having come from a house of a mere three boys ( and without wanting to become ‘‘ one of those parents’’), I could regale you with tales of challenge, horror and unmitigated joy from the past 24 hours alone that I’m sure would at once appal and amuse you.
Yet Jon and Kate Plus 8 fails to inject any sense of the daily drama endured by most families with half the offspring.
When the entire brood plunge headlong into a corn maze, you secretly pray the lot get lost and you can turn your attention to something more engaging.
Like watching the bath drain.
IVF bonuses: The clan from the reality show Jon & Kate Plus 8