MORE WOMEN ARE HYPOCHON­DRI­ACS THAN MEN. WE ALL WORRY

The Weekend Australian - Review - - Lifelines -

WOR­RIES (af­ter BUSY) I think I’ve got an ul­cer; I get a nasty twinge Im­me­di­ately af­ter eat­ing — a snack, a meal, a binge. Per­haps I’ve got coli­tis. Or could it just be wind? Or gas­tro-en­teri­tis? Those crab­meat chunks were tinned.

SO Round I go, Un­sound I go, Snow­bound I go — Down to the doc­tor’s To wait in the surgery. And down I go, To town I go, And feel­ing like a clown I go: I think I could be suf­fer­ing from ir­ri­ta­ble bowel. Or is it in­di­ges­tion? Or some form of con­ges­tion? Or grum­bling ap­pen­dix? That can really make you howl . . . Of course, I might have can­cer — it could be in the genes. The funny thing is yes­ter­day I felt quite full of beans. Per­haps it’s noth­ing really; my tummy’s just up­set — Though nowa­days you never know; I wouldn’t take a bet.

SO Off I go, You’ll scoff, I know, I’ve got this funny cough, and so. Down to the doc­tor’s, To sit in the surgery. And pound about, Ex­pound and shout, As­tound and flout My woe.

Woe is me!

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Australia

© PressReader. All rights reserved.