Princess Leia’s star dreck

The Weekend Australian - Review - - Books -

What she does re­veal is this: it lasted three months; both ac­tors were work­ing on Star Wars at El­stree Stu­dios in Eng­land. One night she found her­self in a car with Ford, who was 14 years older than her. She was drunk, and soon enough they were rolling around on the back seat. They would have sex at the week­end and ig­nore each other all week. No one else (hand­ily) found out, cer­tainly not his first wife (they di­vorced three years later).

“As far as I know,” Fisher writes, and I sense some col­lu­sion here, “the only time he cheated on any one of his three wives was with me.”

And that’s pretty much it. The af­fair ends when film­ing ends, the two share a plane back to Los An­ge­les and it is over.

She in­sin­u­ates that Ford has given his bless­ing for her to write about it, which is prob­a­bly why she has loy­ally stripped ev­ery in­ter­est­ing de­tail out of him.

The re­sult is a void. Even if you thought Ford was a huge “wom­an­iser”, her de­scrip­tion of him as a staid, untalkative, depend­able type will per­suade you oth­er­wise.

This book is so thinly writ­ten that by the end of the first third I be­gan to ac­tu­ally hate her, not only for be­ing a dis­mal look-at-me writer but also for fail­ing to re­port any other de­cent anec­dotes, for crush­ing the life out of any that re­motely had prom­ise, for be­ing thick, spoiled, vain and self-cen­tred.

Meet­ing Lady Bird Johnson on a fat farm is not an op­por­tu­nity to tell an in­ter­est­ing or nu­anced story about a for­mer US first lady (on a fat farm!), but an­other chance for Fisher to talk about her­self.

At one point she lav­ishly de­scribes her step­fa­ther’s “grey, with­ered, hang­ing ball sack as he rose from the bed with­out pa­jama bot­toms to yet again visit the bath­room”. That is the last we hear of him.

And who is “Grif­fin”, on page 102, whom she

Mark Hamill, left, Car­rie Fisher and Har­ri­son Ford in Star Wars

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