Many important things happened this year. Indeed, some think that 2016 will go down in history — like 1066 or 1966. But while you were focused elsewhere, you missed a lot. So let’s brief you on that. People have started wearing pyjamas in public. Well, women mainly, because you can’t tell if men are wearing shorts or boxers. This trend started in England, where women couldn’t be bothered getting changed for a day that lasted only a few hours. Now that’s it’s arrived here, let’s just be relieved they’re not wearing onesies.
Pokemon disappeared. Of course you were aware of its arrival but you probably didn’t know it virtually vanished within a month. Evidently pinball is making a return — but they’re always trying to push that one. In fact, fitness trends were telling this year. Trampolining was still hot at the start of the year but has since faded. Instead, everyone is doing animal flow. It’s sort of like aggressive yoga. Think animals. Think stretching. Think, unattractive from the rear. (Why don’t they just play with a puppy?)
This year an unusual name popped up in the top 10 baby names. Noah was No 4 in Australia and No 1 for boys in the America. I wonder what Americans saw on the horizon.
Big news on the literary front. Marlowe wrote some of Shakespeare’s plays. Well, the Henry plays at least, and probably only a bit of them, so let’s say he was in the room when Willie was writing. This discovery is courtesy of data analytics, a science that can now reach back 400 years. (Perhaps that’s the big news.)
Gender stuff was big. Or at least more diverse than ever. Facebook listed 58 genders but at the end of this year, Tinder announced it had decided on 37 gender varieties and municipal authorities were freaking out about how many public toilets would be needed. Gender identity made marriage equality look like a doddle — well, a doddle for most countries.
Technology. Of all the technologies that changed our lives this year, butler socks were the most under-appreciated. These socks can detect when you’re falling asleep during a binge TV viewing session, and wirelessly pause the program for you. If you think this is too much, you’ll appreciate the expression that we are living in a digital mesh. And if that makes you feel like a fly in a spider’s web, you got it.
Drones went underwater this year. I know, they’re on your Christmas list, but already they are swimming around the depths of the Black Sea, discovering shipwrecks from 1000 years ago. Maybe there’s an idea for a shark deterrent.
The word agile disappeared from the Australian lexicon. It became a five-letter word once it became associated with job losses, scary technology and bosses so young they can’t get fuzz going for Movember. Think Wyatt Roy. Yes, in case you missed it, he’s history too.
Hair was big, but not in the same places as last year. The bushranger beard is disappearing, replaced by chin growth that suggests a week in the wild rather than a lifetime. Men’s hair has gone bonkers, though. Some guys went for the quiff; others worked the hairspray to achieve the full pompadour; and others crafted graffiti cuts: styles you read for messages.
Food trends continue to confound. The big- gest dish was the breakfast bowl, filled with diverse ingredients that strip South America of heritage crops, but actually made for Instagram sharing. Prebiotics, probiotics, anything to do with bowel health was huge since that book called Gut revealed that our digestion knows more than we ever thought about ourselves.
Turmeric or golden tea was the latest functional food; fermented foods got in on the act, smoked foods became charcoaled foods and wines went au naturel — nothing added except the profit margin. The only beverages more expensive were green juices. Mutton made a comeback, on the back of expensive lamb. But the biggest movement was the home delivery of chef meals from top restaurants. Ka-ching. Big secret: Most farmers did really well this year.
So, that’s your wrap. And if all this were the most important stuff that went down this year, then 2016 would have been a ripper. gmail.com