Deer, oh dear

Mercedes E350d AT £58,880/£61,260

Wildlife has a terrible disregard for road safety. In fact, a lot of it seems either daft or depressed, and will fing itself in front of whomever happens to be picking his daughters up from gymnastics practice. Like me. There was a bend with a slight rise. There was a small roe deer running towards the car, like suicide Bambi.

I braked hard, only to nudge it with the front bumper. Mr/Mrs Deer then spasm-jumped onto the bonnet and rolled, which caused the active pedestrian safety bonnet thing to pop up. Still, it must work, as two seconds later, the bastardo stood, shook, and standing-jumped a 7ft hedge like a SuperDeer. No damage to the E apart from needing a bonnet reset at the dealer, no damage to the deer, and only a bit to my nerves.