The ice guys…

Total Film - - Big Screen -


i n the im­mor­tal words of Wes­ley Snipes’ Blade, “Some moth­er­fuck­ers are al­ways tryin’ to ice skate up­hill.” It’s a visual metaphor that’s strangely ap­pro­pri­ate for this be­lated se­quel to 2011’s rough and rude hockey-com Goon, which tries hard but goes nowhere fast.

Seann Wil­liam Scott re­turns as Doug Glatt, an en­forcer who can barely hit a puck but has no trou­ble bust­ing skulls. Still loyal to his beloved Hal­i­fax High­landers, Doug re­ceives a bru­tal beat­down by new kid on the frost An­ders Cain (Wy­att Rus­sell). But with a baby on the way, Doug’s loy­al­ties are split be­tween his fam­i­lies at home and on the ice.

Fea­tur­ing an en­dear­ingly watch­able Scott, gross-out gags and pulse-quick­en­ing fist-fling­ing, ev­ery­thing that made Goon a cult crowd-pleaser is present. Prac­ti­cally the en­tire cast re­turns too, but most are un­der­served by a script that brings noth­ing new to the ice, and some flat and unin­spired lens-work. Worse is Rus­sell, whose rage-fu­elled Cain acts like Anger from Inside Out in hu­man form.

Any­one with a fond­ness for the first film will find some plea­sure in re­vis­it­ing this band of love­able mis­fits, but we’re a long way from the hockey hall of fame. Jor­dan Far­ley


Earnest in­ten­tions may be be­hind this bawdy yet heart­felt sport-quel, but it’s a largely un­nec­es­sary re­match.

the new Strictly pair­ing caught ev­ery­one by sur­prise…

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