Octagonal Charlie has lost it
IT’S not nice to joke about people who’ve died – crikey, it’s downright insensitive.
But today, I’ll make an exception for cocaine-vacuum of the week Charlie Sheen. He’s not quite dead yet – not while I’m writing this anyway – but if there’s any bets running on which celebrity will cark it next, the Two and A Half Men star would be on short odds.
People always seem to be ready with the jokes when a celebrity dies. Remember the Ghost references after Patrick Swayze dirty danced his way into the grave?
This week’s Sheen circus has also shown that it’s apparently acceptable to make fun of someone who has an obvious mental illness – as long as they’re rich and famous.
When Sheen inevitably does stagger into the afterlife – with or without an entourage of porn stars – you can bet you’ll receive an SMS within minutes about his ‘‘ Two And A Half Personalities’’.
And he sure seems to be a pudding short of Christmas. Which is probably why the greedy US media has been climbing over each other to get him on their shows.
‘‘ Dying’s for fools,’’ he said earlier this week. He also told a telly host who suggested he might have bipolar that he was ‘‘ bi-winning’’, and claimed his ‘‘ fangs were dripping tiger blood’’ after he lost custody of his two youngest kids.
Of his sitcom co-creator Chuck Lorre he wrote: ‘‘ I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.’’
Earthworm? Octagon? Firebreathing fists? This stuff is better than anything his writers have ever come up with.
It’s notable that his TV bosses didn’t ditch him until he bad-mouthed them on TV and said their wives were ugly.
They were willing to keep paying him $ 2 million an episode when he was assaulting his wife and performing various other substance-fuelled public antics.
‘‘ I am on a drug – it’s called Charlie Sheen,’’ the star said earlier this week. One million followers of his twitter feed show that drug is addictive. Frankly, I don’t see the appeal.