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Townsville Bulletin - - NQ Life - andy. toul­son@ townsville­bul­letin. com. au

Aaadd – know the symp­toms

Thank good­ness there’s a name for this dis­or­der . . . some­how I feel bet­ter, even though I have it! Re­cently, I was di­ag­nosed with A. A. A. D. D. – Age Ac­ti­vated At­ten­tion Deficit Dis­or­der. This is how it man­i­fests: I de­cide to wa­ter my gar­den. As I turn on the hose in the drive­way, I look over at my car and de­cide it needs wash­ing. As I start to­ward the garage, I no­tice mail on the porch ta­ble that I brought up from the mail box ear­lier. I de­cide to go through the mail be­fore I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the ta­ble, put the junk mail in the rub­bish bin un­der the ta­ble, and no­tice that the bin is full. So, I de­cide to put the bills back on the ta­ble and take out the rub­bish first. But then I think, since I’m go­ing to be near the mail­box when I take out the rub­bish any­way, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my cheque book off the ta­ble, and see that there is only one cheque left. My ex­tra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go in­side the house to my desk where I find the cup of cof­fee I’d been drink­ing. I’m go­ing to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the cof­fee aside so that I don’t ac­ci­den­tally knock it over. The cof­fee is get­ting cold, and I de­cide to make an­other cup. As I head to­ward the kitchen with the cold cof­fee, a vase of flow­ers on the counter catches my eye — they need wa­ter. I put the cof­fee on the counter and dis­cover my read­ing glasses that I’ve been search­ing for all morn­ing. I de­cide I’d bet­ter put them back on my desk, but first I’m go­ing to wa­ter the flow­ers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a con­tainer with wa­ter and sud­denly spot the TV re­mote some­one left on the kitchen ta­ble. I re­alise that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be look­ing for the re­mote, but I won’t re­mem­ber that it’s on the kitchen ta­ble, so I de­cide to put it back in the den where it be­longs, but first I’ll wa­ter the Look­ing for a laugh but don’t have time to open up the spam clut­ter­ing up your email? Spam junkie Andy Toul­son is a se­rial emailer and we’ve put her tal­ents for recog­nis­ing the ridicu­lous to good use. Each week she fil­ters out the rub­bish and presents the best of spam flow­ers. I pour some wa­ter in the flow­ers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the re­mote back on the ta­ble, get some tow­els and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall try­ing to re­mem­ber what I was plan­ning to do. At the end of the day: • The car isn’t washed • The bills aren’t paid • There is a cold cup of cof­fee sitting on the counter • The flow­ers don’t have enough wa­ter • There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book • I can’t find the re­mote • I can’t find my glasses • And I don’t re­mem­ber what I did with the car keys.

Friendly warn­ing from child­less peo­ple

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