junk ( f) email
Aaadd – know the symptoms
Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder . . . somehow I feel better, even though I have it! Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first. But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the cup of coffee I’d been drinking. I’m going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the coffee aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. The coffee is getting cold, and I decide to make another cup. As I head toward the kitchen with the cold coffee, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye — they need water. I put the coffee on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning. I decide I’d better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote someone left on the kitchen table. I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the Looking for a laugh but don’t have time to open up the spam cluttering up your email? Spam junkie Andy Toulson is a serial emailer and we’ve put her talents for recognising the ridiculous to good use. Each week she filters out the rubbish and presents the best of spam flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: • The car isn’t washed • The bills aren’t paid • There is a cold cup of coffee sitting on the counter • The flowers don’t have enough water • There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book • I can’t find the remote • I can’t find my glasses • And I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.
Friendly warning from childless people