Is it really cheating?
Here’s some clues about whether you’ve crossed the line, writes Giulia Simolo of Askmen. com
The first thought that comes to mind when someone mentions cheating is probably sex. But cheating can be much more complicated than that. When it comes to emotional cheating, or cybersex, insisting to your girlfriend or wife that you ‘‘ didn’t even have sex’’ isn’t exactly going to polish your halo. The playing field has opened up, creating some serious grey areas. Is confiding in a woman other than your partner cheating? Or perhaps that lap dance you enjoyed last night?
Read on to discover if you are, in fact, cheating. Getting a lap dance You’re out with the boys or at a bachelor party, and a gyrating sex goddess decides to give you a lap dance. It’s a bit of good fun that you enjoyed, and you’d probably do it again in the future. Are you cheating? No. There’s nothing intimate about this cheating sign, despite its appearance. It’s along the same lines as a male stripper amusing the girls — just innocent fun. This woman dances for a living, just for entertainment purposes; it’s not like you were at a club and got seduced by a woman who took you aside and engaged in anything sexual. Hiding female friendships You’re a guy who has female friends who are important to you. However, you don’t necessarily want to talk about your female friends with your girlfriend because she is possessive and might tell you to break off your friendships. Are you cheating? Yes. Sorry to say, but you’re basically sneaking around behind your girlfriend’s back. Although it’s not overtly sexual, the fact is you’re still keeping things secret from her. We don’t want to sound like Dr. Phil, but that’s never healthy, because secrecy can be a form of betrayal. You might want to ask yourself what you think you have to hide if you’re hiding friendships from your girlfriend.
Getting deep with another woman
There are some things you find yourself talking about with another woman — maybe it’s your relationship, maybe it’s something about your girlfriend that’s frustrating to you. It’s not that you can’t talk to your girlfriend, but some things you just feel more comfortable talking about with people outside of the relationship. Are you cheating? No. Just because you’re talking to another woman, it doesn’t mean that she resembles Eva Longoria or sparks feelings within you. The latter is key, here — confiding and sharing important communication with another woman is not cheating unless you have real feelings for her that are of a romantic nature. That’s where the emotional infidelity comes in.
Not specifying Facebook relationship status
Although you’re taken and spoken for, you have not updated your relationship status on Facebook. It still declares to any willing eyes that wish to rove over your profile that you’re a single man. Are you cheating? No. Who says you have to let your entire extended network in on your private affairs? A lot of people don’t like to mention too many details about their lives online, and it’s understandable, especially if you have professional contacts or nosy relatives on your friends list. This isn’t a cheating sign; this is simply maintaining a bit of personal discretion.
Dancing closely with another woman
An awesome beat comes on and you find yourself with another woman on the dance floor at a club. You have a good time, but can feel your girlfriend’s jealous eyes on you. Are you cheating? No. It’s just a dance, for crying out loud. OK, so maybe it involved some gyrating and closeness, but it’s not like you were stripped down to your underwear. There’s no reason why your girlfriend should get angry over this.
Chat rooms or cybersex
You regularly visit online chat rooms and have conversations ( along with some flirting) with various women whom you do not know. Once or twice you might even have had cybersex. It’s no biggie: it’s not like you know these women in real life or actually touched them. Are you cheating? Yes. Although this scenario might first appear to be harmless fun because you’re not physically engaging with women, it does classify as cheating because of the following: Firstly, if you’re hiding it from your partner, it’s because you know she’ll be upset. Secondly, you are going outside your relationship for sexual excitement. Hiding meetings with your ex You and your ex are not romantically interested in each other anymore and sometimes meet up for drinks after work. Purely innocent, yes, but you have not told your girlfriend for the simple reason that you fear she won’t understand. Are you cheating? Yes. Regardless of why you have not disclosed the info to your girlfriend, you are doing something that you wouldn’t do with her knowledge. The secrecy is the problem in this scenario because it’s keeping your girlfriend in the dark so you can have your cake and eat it too — even if the cherry on