Name come by

Put chil­dren’s in­ter­ests first when sep­a­rat­ing

Townsville Bulletin - - LIFESTYLE -

irl’s name un­til a day be­fore our hird child, Willem, was born.

We fi­nally de­cided our third hild, if a girl, would be named Grace. We had al­ways agreed to call son of ours Willem, af­ter my Dutch- born un­cle and greatrand­fa­ther, so Willem he is.

And it ap­pears nam­ing a child fter a rel­a­tive or choos­ing a ame that is not fad- driven is on rend for 2015.

Fol­low­ing the Baby Names Aus­tralia 2014 Re­port, put out by McCrindle Re­search ear­lier this

ear, so­cial re­searcher and de­mog­ra­pher Mark McCrindle ays 2015 will see new par­ents move away from cre­ative names owards more tra­di­tional and is­tor­i­cal names.

McCrindle re­search

shows now avail­able at BIG W, Tar­get, Myer, David Jones, Mr Toys and lead­ing toy re­tail­ers.

Townsville Fam­i­lies has two Jump­ing Jack prizes to give away to two read­ers.

Text your best par­ent­ing tip to 0416 905 534 by 9am Thurs­day. The win­ners will be no­ti­fied on Fri­day and their names printed in Tues­day’s Townsville Fam­i­lies liftout. WHEN a mar­riage breaks down there is a lot of di­vid­ing up. As­sets, fur­ni­ture, money but I en­cour­age you to be care­ful to not con­fuse the di­vid­ing of ob­jects with di­vid­ing up peo­ple.

All too of­ten I hear par­ents and lawyers talk of di­vid­ing time spent with chil­dren.

Sadly, many stan­dard cus­tody ar­range­ments treat chil­dren as ob­jects.

Of­ten lawyers can be en­cour­ag­ing fathers to go for overnight vis­its or long days for young chil­dren. that Aus­tralians have drawn back from fad- driven nam­ing, such as cre­ative spell­ing or bor­row­ing names from pop­u­lar movies and TV se­ries.

In­stead, par­ents are start­ing to look back into the past to choose names that have sub­stance so they’re not just in for to­day but will last for a life­time.

I also love the ad­vice from baby nam­ing ex­pert Sue­lain Moy, au­thor of Names to Grow On.

She en­cour­ages par­ents- to- be to throw the check­list of what makes a name “per­fect” out the win­dow, and in­stead look deep in­side.

She sug­gests mums and dad­sto- be close your eyes and think about which name they re­ally, re­ally love. And I couldn’t agree more. If a name makes you smile ev­ery time you say it, the search for your pre­cious baby’s name is over as it was for my fam­ily when the names Gemma, Sophia and Willem were dis­cussed.

What they don’t un­der­stand is how im­por­tant at­tach­ment and emo­tional de­vel­op­ment is for their child.

As hard as it may be to hear, un­less par­ents shared or re­versed roles early in a child’s life then the mother is the pri­mary par­ent and this can be hard for a fa­ther to un­der­stand at this emo­tional time.

Of­ten what is best for chil­dren is not in the best in­ter­ests of par­ents.

Lots of par­ents guided by courts go with the week on and week off ar­range­ment. This doesn’t suit most chil­dren. The needs of your chil­dren must be put first and par­ent­ing should be­come ‘ mu­tual’.

Of­ten I ad­vise sep­a­rat­ing par­ents that they need to think of their fu­ture re­la­tion­ship is one of ‘ busi­ness part­ners’, they are in the busi­ness of rais­ing chil­dren.

You need to put aside anger and fo­cus on your chil­dren.

Pene­lope Leach puts it well when she says “As peo­ple- whoare- par­ents, you may di­vorce or leave each other, but you can­not di­vorce and you should never leave your chil­dren”.

I of­ten hear par­ents mak­ing state­ments such a ‘ they will be okay, kids are re­silient’ in fact the vast ma­jor­ity of kids are not okay, they will suf­fer and be hurt, what we do know is that we as par­ents, can make it bet­ter and help chil­dren to cope

When de­cid­ing care and where ‘ home’ is for a child think about what they cur­rently con­sider home to look like.

This should guide you as to where and with whom their main home should be. Email ques­tions to aboutababy@ townsvillebulletin. com. au. Ni­cole Pierotti is a child psy­chol­o­gist who is an ex­pert in help­ing solve sleep prob­lems. Call 4724 2600 or go to babysmiles. com. au

Pic­tures: ZAK SIM­MONDS

Did you find it easy or a dif­fi­cult task to agree on a name for your baby? Txt the Par­ents 0416 905 534. RACE FANS: Alex Sex­ton with daugh­ter Sa­vanah at the Cas­trol Edge Townsville 400 at Reid Park. Ri­ley, 2, with brother Jake Long, 11, show their team colours. Sa­man­tha Pad­get, 7, from Mackay, keeps the noise un­der con­trol at the Cas­trol Edge Townsville 400. Lu­cas Huth, 6, with sis­ter Tahlia, 3, from Cairns en­joy a day of V8 ac­tion at Reid Park. Neeka Boyle, 11, from Townsville checks out all the ac­tion at Reid Park. Jack­son Rogers, 6, and friend Kai Hughes, 7, en­joy the roar of the V8s. Ge­or­gia Rodgers, 9, fly­ing the flag for her team at Reid Park’s Cas­trol Edge Townsville 400.

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