Zo­diac fore­casts

Townsville Bulletin - - LIFESTYLE - with Jonathan Cainer What sign are you? Find out FREE at www. cainer. com www. cainer. com

Dear Jonathan, Per­haps those peo­ple who thought it ap­pro­pri­ate to re- clas­sify Pluto as a dwarf planet also think dwarfs are less im­por­tant than the rest of the hu­man race? Mike. Hi Jonathan, It seems the once- down­graded Pluto is now back in the lime- light. How does this event af­fect the char­ac­ter­is­tics of Scor­pios? Trevor. Dear Mike and Trevor, I don’t think we’ve heard the end of the de­bate about whether Pluto de­serves to be re- re­clas­si­fied. And we’ve only just heard the start of a dis­cus­sion about what that heart on Pluto’s sur­face may sig­nify to Scor­pios.

aries Mar 20 – Apr 19

Of­fi­cial an­nounce­ment! At the end of the next sen­tence, you will find a sur­prise. Now, here we are in the mid­dle of that very sen­tence yet is there ac­tu­ally a sur­prise at the end of it? Well, that ques­tion has an­swered it­self. The ques­tion mark de­noted the end of the sen­tence. The only sur­prise that it con­tained was the lack of a sur­prise. But then, how can any­one ever ex­pect to spring a sur­prise on any­one else, if they first trum­pet their in­ten­tion from the rooftops? Don’t waste a great po­ten­tial tac­ti­cal ad­van­tage to­day. The fu­ture is wait­ing for you. You are go­ing to love it. Call 1900 950 020.

gemini May 21 – Jun 20

Most fairly clever peo­ple like to think that if they just ap­ply enough in­tel­li­gence to a prob­lem, they will even­tu­ally make sense of it. Gem­i­nis, thank­fully, do not tend to be ‘ fairly clever’. They are ‘ ex­ceed­ingly clever’. So, they are smart enough to know that some ques­tions can never be an­swered. Bet­ter to ac­cept as much than to squan­der a life­time in pur­suit of a para­dox. You are deal­ing, to­day, with an is­sue so emo­tive that it might never lend it­self to logic. If you ac­cept as much, you can yet make a wise choice. You can work magic in your world this week. Find out how! 1900 950 020.

leo Jul 22 – Aug 22

Are we in charge of our des­tiny? Or is our des­tiny in charge of us? An­swers on a post­card please, as they used to say. These days, such ques­tions are more likely to be fol­lowed by an in­vi­ta­tion to text or tweet. The tech­nol­ogy has moved on but this par­tic­u­lar dilemma at least, is no closer to res­o­lu­tion. Free will is more fash­ion­able these days. But pop­u­lar­ity alone, does not rep­re­sent proof of au­then­tic­ity. Re­gard­less of what you be­lieve, show some re­spect to­day, to the idea that the uni­verse has the power to help you. There is magic in the stars for you this week. Call me! 1900 950 020.


Sep 23 - Oct 22

We asked, yesterday, why peo­ple need other peo­ple to play out par­tic­u­lar roles? Why can’t we all just take re­spon­si­bil­ity for our­selves? Can’t we be our own bosses, set our own sched­ules? In­deed, at the risk of un­der­min­ing my own role, can’t we see our own fu­tures? Maybe in the an­swer to that, is the ex­pla­na­tion that you now need in or­der to make a vi­tal per­sonal break­through. When­ever we try to take on too much, no mat­ter how noble or sin­cere our mo­tives may be, we risk los­ing pre­cious per­spec­tive. Value that to­day. The plan­ets say that won­der­ful changes are pos­si­ble. Call 1900 950 020.

sagittarius Nov 20 - Dec 20

Ex­pe­ri­enced lion- tamers are few and far be­tween. Their skills are ever less in de­mand. An­i­mal rights cam­paign­ers have tri­umphantly moved us all on from the shame­ful past when such brave beasts were kept in cages for the ben­e­fit of the cir­cus au­di­ence. But if, for some rea­son, a lion were to be let loose near you one day, would you not feel en­cour­aged and re­as­sured to know that you had been taught the art of con­trol­ling such crea­tures? You are now in the process of ac­quir­ing a skill that may yet prove price­less. Call me if you are look­ing to make some pos­i­tive changes; 1900 950 020.

aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 17

Should you be pre­par­ing for a grim ex­pe­ri­ence, a dire en­counter, an un­com­fort­able trial? You shouldn’t but it is in­ter­est­ing that when you hear me say this, you be­gin to won­der whether per­haps it might be true. That tells us some­thing about your own sense of ex­po­sure. You feel vul­ner­a­ble. You sus­pect you may have done some­thing that ren­ders you de­serv­ing of pun­ish­ment from a dis­ap­prov­ing cos­mos. Shake- off such a sense of ap­pre­hen­sion. There is no jus­ti­fi­ca­tion for it. Nor is there any rea­son to worry to­day. One quick call will cost less than cof­fee and a cake! Call 1900 950 020.

taurus Apr 20 – May 20

The Ed­war­dian au­thor H G Wells, came up with the first idea for a time travel de­vice. Since his day, an en­tire genre of sci­encefic­tion has bur­geoned. There are now time- trav­el­ling space­ships, po­lice boxes and wrist­bands. Or at least, these ex­ist in the realm of fan­tasy. In re­al­ity? Well, we are seem­ingly no closer than ever we were. But per­haps that is be­cause we have al­ways had this abil­ity, al­beit that we haven’t prop­erly un­der­stood it. The key to it is psy­cho­log­i­cal, not phys­i­cal. You have that key to it to­day. There are in­sights and rev­e­la­tions in store for you. Call 1900 950 020.

can­cer Jun 21 – Jul 21

Who was it who said that ‘ the def­i­ni­tion of in­san­ity is re­peat­ing the same mis­takes over and over whilst hop­ing for a dif­fer­ent re­sult’? Ein­stein didn’t say it, so it may not be as clever as some folk think. Ben­jamin Franklin didn’t say it, so it may not be as can­did, ei­ther. And as Mark Twain didn’t say it ei­ther, it may not be par­tic­u­larly witty! So, the only re­main­ing jus­ti­fi­ca­tion for it ap­pear­ing in your forecast to­day, is the pos­si­bil­ity that it may be the per­fect ad­vice you need to hear. But that’s not what you are do­ing, is it? You can al­ter what you want and make it work for you. Call 1900 950 020.

virgo Aug 23 - Sep 22

Peo­ple can be so an­noy­ing. Sit­u­a­tions can be so ir­ri­tat­ing. Prob­lems can be so ag­gra­vat­ing. Ef­forts to fix what­ever’s un­sat­is­fac­tory can be so ex­as­per­at­ing. Don’t you agree? Per­haps you do but you are also aware that we gain very lit­tle when we al­low our­selves to in­dulge a sense of frus­tra­tion. Sooner or later, we have to over­come it. We must rise above what­ever is threat­en­ing to drag us down and pur­sue some source of in­spi­ra­tion, if only for the sake of our san­ity. You may yet find that life brings great hope and heal­ing to­day. If you need some in­spi­ra­tion, this is the week for you! Call 1900 950 020.

scorpio Oct 23 - Nov 21

If Pluto wears its heart on its sleeve, what does that tell us about those whose lives are gov­erned by this heav­enly body? Pluto is the ruler of Scorpio. So, do you wear your heart on your sleeve, too? What about all those text­books that have in­sisted, for so long, that Scorpio is a se­cre­tive sign? Are they wrong? Per­haps, in­stead of se­cre­tive, they should have said ‘ dis­tant and seem­ingly dif­fi­cult to reach but per­fectly open and hon­est, once the con­nec­tion is made’. In a sim­i­lar way, you are re­pair­ing your own rep­u­ta­tion now. In­sights are avail­able to you this week. Find out more. Call 1900 950 020.


Dec 2 1 - Jan 19

In the old days, ev­ery city cen­tre seemed to con­tain at least one ec­cen­tric gen­tle­man who car­ried a plac­ard. It would say some­thing like ‘ The end of the world is nigh!’ And, given half a chance, he would be only too pleased to go into de­tail. These days, such char­ac­ters have left the high street and set up shop in cy­berspace. Do we miss them? Why should we? Can’t we all pro­vide for our­selves a per­fect replica of that voice of doom and gloom? Don’t we find it all too easy to ex­pect the worst? All such fear is un­founded to­day. Great news if you are look­ing for in­spi­ra­tion and magic. Call 1900 950 020.


Feb 18 - Mar 19

Should we up­hold the let­ter of the law or the spirit of the law? That is the kind of ques­tion to which the an­swer of­ten de­pends, to some ex­tent at least, on who you hap­pen to be ask­ing. There are, of course, some sit­u­a­tions that de­mand in­tense at­ten­tion to de­tail. One wrong move, one false step, could con­tra­vene a cru­cial code and un­leash an avalanche of in­con­ve­nient con­se­quences. But that is surely not what you are up against now. If your heart is now telling you that some­thing is roughly right, that is more than good enough. Don’t worry about the fu­ture. Call me for in­spir­ing news. Call 1900 950 020.

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