To be ripped, no gain with­out pain

Townsville Bulletin - - NEWS - with Chris McMa­hon chris. mcma­hon@ news. com. au

GEEZ I’ve let my­self go this win­ter and the pre­vi­ous two or three be­fore that, and the sum­mers as well.

I’ve for­got to go to the gym now, for the last one to maybe two years and I tell you what, I am a mess.

Have you ever wo­ken up and looked in the mir­ror and thought, “Hm­m­mmm, I won­der what went wrong, I used to be fit; hell, this keg used to be a six pack”.

Then you kind of get used to how you’ve be­come, the wiggles, the un­in­ten­tional truf­fle shuf­fle ev­ery time you walk at a brisk pace, the muf­fin tops: you’ve eaten so many of them they’ve at­tached them­selves to your hips.

I was a husky child, round, then I had a growth spurt and a me­tab­o­lism that let me eat what­ever I wanted and be­cause I was so ac­tive, I was a lean, mean, fight­ing ma­chine.

But the slow de­cline of an ac­tive lifestyle, turn­ing into a full- time work­ing, stress­ing, eat­ing ma­chine, has killed the once- solid frame, trans­form­ing me into the Miche­lin Man.

I’m knock­ing on the door of 30 and the old adage, I’m not get­ting any younger, def­i­nitely ap­plies here. I’m get­ting rounder, that’s for cer­tain, and it takes a lit­tle longer to get go­ing but hope­fully that’s all about to change.

Well, that’s all over; if you hear a fully grown man sob­bing like a child to­day it’s prob­a­bly me, strug­gling af­ter my first gym ses­sion in a very, very long time.

I have no doubt I will be weak, very un­fit and if I do it right, prob­a­bly throw up. I can only imag­ine how I’m go­ing to feel this af­ter­noon: mus­cles hurt­ing, legs wob­bling; I’ll prob­a­bly just break out in the seats look­ing at the gym, so once I get in there, who knows what’s go­ing to hap­pen?

I’m well aware that it is hard work; noth­ing comes easy and it will be a long hard slog, but you’ve got to risk it for the bis­cuit; well, once the diet starts it will prob­a­bly risk it for the kale or pro­tein shake.

And be­fore you start, I’m not do­ing it for some vain rea­son to be a mas­sive hu­man be­ing, ripped so all the peo­ple be ‘ mirin’ my shred­ded bod.

Nah, none of that; it’s about liv­ing. I like liv­ing, it’s prob­a­bly the best thing I’ll ever do, and I’d like to con­tinue do­ing it, with­out hav­ing to wash my­self with a rag on a stick.

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