Mall for maul at Hugh St

Townsville Bulletin - - OPINION - with John An­der­son john.an­der­son@news.com.au

THERE is a lot of sup­port in the city for the Townsville Dis­trict Rugby Union’s plan to move out to Mur­ray.

The Hugh St com­plex is too con­stricted.

More ovals have been needed for a long time. The build­ings are shabby and, let’s face it, they were never, ever in the race for any ar­chi­tec­tural awards.

There are al­ready around 1000 par­tic­i­pants in the sport here ev­ery week­end and the fig­ure is grow­ing. The time is ripe for change. Smash driver sor­row I’VE BEEN think­ing about the Ital­ian driver of the car that crashed last Fri­day, in which three of his coun­try­men died just south of Home Hill.

He has been charged with driv­ing with­out due care and at­ten­tion. As a Euro­pean, he is used to driv­ing on the right­hand side of the road.

Some­how the car clipped a con­crete bar­rier and rolled. Three of the five peo­ple in the car, all back­pack­ers em­ployed on a Bur­dekin farm, died.

De­tails of ex­actly what hap­pened will be re­vealed in court but I feel for him be­cause of an ex­pe­ri­ence I had last year when my wife and I hired a car in Nimes in the south of France.

I was the driver. I re­alised as soon as I drove the car out of the hire place and into traf­fic that I was way out of my depth.

We only had a 45km drive to the vil­lage we were stay­ing in but it was a mir­a­cle I got us there with­out killing us or any­one else.

As it was, I clipped a bridge. I had a spa­tial prob­lem and couldn’t get the hang of driv­ing on the right side. It was worse on the nar­row coun­try roads.

I was over­com­pen­sat­ing against traf­fic the en­tire time.

I don’t know how many times I nearly drove us off and over the right edge of the road.

If it wasn’t so ter­ri­fy­ing it would have been hi­lar­i­ous.

I envy peo­ple who can adapt to in­ter­na­tional driv­ing straight away, no trou­ble at all. I’m not one of them. Cof­fin ru­mour buried EARTH­MOV­ING con­trac­tors, ex­ca­va­tor driv­ers, grader and dozer op­er­a­tors can celebrate the fact that when their chain is pulled and they are flushed from this mor- tal coil, that they can be buried in a Cat cof­fin.

Does it get any bet­ter for a bloke who has spent his time on this earth shift­ing its dirt from one place to another to be buried in a cof­fin made by that most fa­mous of earth­mov­ing brands, Cater­pil­lar?

Most blokes who dig the earth with big ma­chines would prob­a­bly see their in­ter­ment in a cof­fin named Cat as a sym­bolic cou­pling of man and ma­chine.

I re­ceived the im­age via email with a story at­tached, but smelt a ro­dent.

But, then again, there is a cer­tain syn­ergy be­tween the man­u­fac­ture of coffins and the ex­ca­va­tion of the holes into which they are low­ered.

I rang the com­pany to check if they were branch­ing out into the fu­neral busi­ness and re­ceived a call from the PR chief in Sin­ga­pore. I’d made his day.

“Coffins? Fu­neral busi­ness?” he said, laugh­ing. “Run that past me again.”

So I did – and he laughed again. He was still laugh­ing when I put the phone down. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. Did but see her pass WAYNE Hornby of Belle­vue Ho­tel fame in South Townsville is still float­ing on air, days af­ter a visit from her royal high­ness her­self, An­nasta­cia Palaszczuk, Queen of Queens­land, Premier of Banan­aben­der­land, Countess of Allen St.

He did but see her pass­ing by the pool ta­ble near the gent’s la­va­tory and was in­stantly smit­ten. Mr Hornby reck­ons that the visit from her Royal High­ness with her ladies in wait­ing, court jesters and one or two palace scribes was 30 min­utes he will never for­get.

He reck­ons The Bell is now of­fi­cially a reg­is­tered La­bor fortress and that the Tree of Knowl­edge should be moved from Bar­cal­dine to Allen St.

Good luck to him with that one. Mean­while, can some­one throw a bucket of iced wa­ter over Mr Hornby?

GOOD IDEA: A con­cept draw­ing of the new TDRU fa­cil­ity at Mur­ray, which is be­ing con­sid­ered as the sport has out­grown its Hugh St home.

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