Plenty to mock but more to deplore
I’M not sure I can bring myself to watch The Bachelor.
Don’t get me wrong, I love to roast a terrible reality show. I have watched some shocking offerings, all to tear down the ridiculous contestants and flimsy premises. ( Dating Naked, I’m looking at you.)
But the last time I tried to watch The Bachelor and laugh at it, I ended up yelling at the screen.
“Don’t degrade yourself,” I cried, when a contestant declared that she felt that she truly loved the bachelor in question, even though he wouldn’t say it back and was still schmoozing another woman.
I scoffed when the bachelor told both girls they were truly special.
I was appalled when a proposal wasn’t met with a giant “whoa, what are you doing? Let me date you as the woman you’ve chosen and not one of the many for a while first”.
In short, I really wanted to get on board with the hate- watching, but was too busy with the hate part to actually derive any enjoyment from it.
Yes, last year’s show gave us the concept of dirty street pies, but it also reminded us the whole thing is a farce.
After the vomit- inducing, cringeworthy sap of the grand final proposal, it was quickly revealed that winner Sam Frost had been dumped and Bachelor Blake was instead enjoying a tryst with the runner- up.
Throw in a stripper past, an auction of the engagement ring and a new TV role for Sam as The Bachelorette and it’s obvious that it’s all a car crash of a publicity stunt.
Yet the damn show is still polluting the airwaves and making me doubt the future of humanity.
I’m more of a fan of Chinese dating show If You Are The One. A male contestant is sized up by 24 women, who watch video presentations about his job, hobbies, views on love and what his friends think of him.
The girls have lights they can switch off if they’re not interested. I love when half the lights go off within minutes of the guy appearing and the girls let rip with brutal criticisms.
That’s not forgetting the other bizarre elements such as earnest singing demonstrations, questions about whether the girls would be willing to live with the contestant’s mother and women wearing cat ears.
At least in that case, the fact that it’s all an orchestrated matchmaking exercise is always acknowledged.
In The Bachelor, it’s dressed up as an adventure in finding love.
That is, as much as you can find love when the guy’s dating 18 other women at the same time.
That’s not romance. That’s a reason to buy some cold sore cream.