CONCOCTING CON­SPIR­ACY

Townsville Bulletin - - ENTERTAINMENT -

Is it just me, or does it seem like we’ve all be­come re­ally an­gry? I’m not even talk­ing about stuff that we should be an­gry about, be­cause when it comes to what’s hap­pen­ing in the news and pol­i­tics with things that ac­tu­ally af­fect our lives we’re com­pletely ap­a­thetic — and yet we’re to­tally con­sumed with rage about the most triv­ial things.

Take for ex­am­ple the So­cial Me­dia Beef of the Week ™ , a. k. a. the storm of con­tro­versy sur­round­ing the MasterChef Aus­tralia fi­nale.

Hon­estly, if we could some­how find a way to bot­tle the en­ergy ded­i­cated to that big pile of noth­ing­ness this week, the whole coal ver­sus re­new­ables de­bate would be null and void. We could power Aus­tralia on the rage of arm­chair crit­ics.

The drama started al­most im­me­di­ately af­ter Di­ana Chan was an­nounced as the win­ner.

Many were de­lighted with the re­sult, con­grat­u­lat­ing Chan on a hard- fought vic­tory af­ter three nail­bit­ing chal­lenges.

But it wasn’t long be­fore the an­gry mob grabbed their torches and pitch­forks and be­gan chant­ing that “the whole thing is rigged!”

Ap­par­ently the judges’ scores seemed sus­pi­ciously close.

Ah, yeah. Duh! It’s a tele­vi­sion show. With ad­ver­tis­ers.

If the scores were too one- sided then we’d flick over to Ninja War­rior and miss Casey Dono­van scream­ing about Coles and their cheap bread.

If we didn’t stay tuned for the full three hours Channel 10 would never re­coup the costs for all those hi­bachi grills, ice cream ma­chines, and crates of liq­uid ni­tro­gen.

I’m sure Matt Pre­ston’s cra­vat col­lec­tion doesn’t come cheap and we all know Ten’s hav­ing a bit of a cash flow is­sue right now.

And then there was the “con­spir­acy” about the score­boards show­ing run­ner- up Ben with more points.

Surely that’s proof that some­thing fishy was go­ing on! Yeah, nah. Channel 10 has been film­ing two ver­sions of the an­nounce­ment for years.

It’s not even re­ally a se­cret – con­tes­tants openly talk about it in in­ter­views lit­er­ally ev­ery year.

It’s ba­si­cally their spoiler in­sur­ance plan. If no one knows who won, no one can let it slip.

That lit­tle edit­ing boo- boo show­ing the wrong score­board prob­a­bly cost some poor in­tern his highly cov­eted in­tern­ship which he doesn’t get paid for but does be­cause he needs “the ex­pe­ri­ence”.

Se­man­tics aside, the amount of anger lev­elled at the show seems a bit out of whack.

You guys, you know it’s just sup­posed to be some light en­ter­tain­ment, right?

You know that just be­cause it’s called “re­al­ity” doesn’t mean any of it ac­tu­ally real, right? Ex­pect­ing a cook­ing show to have in­tegrity and total trans­parency is kind of ab­surd.

We seem to have higher moral stan­dards for re­al­ity TV shows than we have for our po­lit­i­cal lead­ers. Who cares about Trump and Rus­sia, she didn’t even paint the ap­ple right and that cho­co­late is way too thick!

While the MasterChef storm has passed for another year, I’m sure it won’t be long be­fore we get all worked up about the girl next door who didn’t get a rose on The Bach­e­lor or the poor qual­ity of the crown mould­ings in that bed­room on The Block.

All the while, when it comes to things that mat­ter, down, down, stan­dards are down.

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