Ready to Rock and roll about

Western Suburbs Weekly - - Film -

SKY­SCRAPERS tum­ble, bridges col­lapse, land un­du­lates, tides rise and de­bris flies but the big­gest mess that needs clean­ing up is the San An­dreas script.

Dwayne (The Rock) John­son leaps and dives among the rub­ble from cliche to cliche in this hi­lar­i­ously straight-faced dis­as­ter film whose only am­bi­tion is to ri­val Michael Bay in the de­struc­tion stakes.

While a dev­as­tat­ing earth­quake rat­tles Cal­i­for­nia, res­cue he­li­copter pi­lot Ray (Dwayne John­son) and Emma (Carla Gug­ino), who are on the verge of di­vorce, come to­gether in Los An­ge­les to find and res­cue their daugh­ter Blake (Alexan­dra Dad­dario), who is stranded in San Fran­cisco.

Blake, who was aban­doned by her mum’s con­struc­tion ty­coon boyfriend Daniel (Ioan Gruf­fudd), has English broth­ers Ben (Hugo Johnstone-Burt) and Ollie (Art Parkin­son) in tow as they seek high enough ground for res­cue by her dad.

Of course, both par­ties are faced with life-threat­en­ing hur­dles along the way as cities fall around them and the earth opens up be­tween them.

Not only is the script built on dis­as­ter movie mo­ments, plots, char­ac­ters and sen­ti­ments we have seen in ev­ery other film in this genre, it is rid­dled with onthe-nose metaphors and lousy dia­logue.

Women need sav­ing, peo­ple say ‘oh my God’ a lot, cities are flat­tened and the lead­ing man is the un­equiv­o­cal hero; it is all so overly familiar to the point one won­ders how this got green­lit.

The big­gest sur­prise is how hi­lar­i­ous this all is with its out­landishly im­pos­si­ble stunts and nar­row es­capes try­ing to one-up past genre in­stal­ments.

This be­comes an ex­er­cise in ab­sur­dity and in­ad­ver­tently be­comes the com­edy of the year.

The Rock saves a lot of lives in San An­dreas and yet he can­not save this pile of wreck­age.

Dwayne John­son in San An­dreas.

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