If SOME­ONE ELSE is be­com­ing an­gry

Woman’s Day (Australia) - - Health -

STEP 1 SPOT THE SIGNS

They tend to be quite ob­vi­ous. “No­tice if they are get­ting ag­i­tated, rais­ing their voice, clench­ing their fists, talk­ing louder, glar­ing at you or us­ing harsh lan­guage,” says Grant.

STEP 2 SHOW EM­PA­THY

Rather than be­com­ing de­fen­sive about the sit­u­a­tion with the other per­son, try to put your­self in their shoes. “Take a minute to re­flect upon ‘why’ the per­son is los­ing their cool and what may have hap­pened,” says Grant. “Are they usu­ally like this, or is it out of char­ac­ter? It could be an op­por­tu­nity to help them sort some­thing out in their life.”

STEP 3 DON’T FUEL THE FIRE

It’s just as much about you let­ting go of the other per­son’s anger as them do­ing it for them­selves. “We can some­times get caught in play­ing a psy­cho­log­i­cal game where you think, ‘If they get an­gry with me, I get an­gry with them,’” adds Grant. “It can be much more help­ful to point out to them that they

seem re­ally up­set and that you’d like to work with them to re­solve the is­sue. Some­times it may be nec­es­sary to say, ‘You or we are too up­set at the mo­ment, let’s calm down and meet in half an hour and try and re­solve the is­sue.’”

STEP 4 THE RES­O­LU­TION

“You should see if you can help your friend or fam­ily re­solve what­ever they have al­lowed to trig­ger them to anger,” he says. “You can of­ten do this by ask­ing these ques­tions: What hap­pened? How did it make you feel? What are the con­se­quences of what hap­pened? What are the op­tions to re­solve the is­sue? What do you think the best thing to do is?”

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