Time for a laugh

Daily Nation (Barbados) - - Front Page -

OVER THE LAST TWO YEARS, the con­tent of th­ese ar­ti­cles has been quite heavy. Given this is the last ar­ti­cle for 2017, I want to do some­thing dif­fer­ent and give you some­thing to make you laugh.

Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was go­ing to bring another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a dis­cus­sion among them.

The first bull says: “Boys, we all know I’ve been here five years. Once we set­tled our dif­fer­ences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don’t know where this new­comer is go­ing to get his cows, but I ain’t’ givin’ him any of mine.”

The sec­ond bull says: “That pretty much says it for me, too. I’ve been here three years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we’ve agreed are mine. I’ll fight ’im till I run him off or kill ’im, but I’m keepin’ all my cows.”

The third bull says: “I’ve only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have ten cows to ‘take care of’. I may not be as big as you fel­lows yet, but I am young and vir­ile, so I sim­ply must keep all my cows.”

They had just fin­ished their big talk when an 18-wheeler pulls up in the mid­dle of the pas­ture with only one an­i­mal in it: the big­gest son-of-another-bull they had ever seen! At 4 700 pounds, each step he took to­ward the ground strained the steel ramp to the break­ing point.

The first bull says: “Ahem, you know, it’s ac­tu­ally been some time since I re­ally felt I was do­ing all my cows jus­tice, any­way. I think I can spare a few for our new friend.”

The sec­ond bull says: “I’ll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the op­po­site end of the pas­ture from him. I’m cer­tainly not look­ing for an ar­gu­ment.”

They look over at their young friend, the third bull, and find him paw­ing the dirt, shak­ing his horns, and snort­ing up a storm. The first bull says: “Son, let me give you some ad­vice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it.”

The third bull says: “Heck, he can have all my cows. I’m just mak­ing sure he knows I’m a bull!”

The ques­tions and an­swers be­low were from an exam stu­dents took. Q. What is a tur­bine? A. Some­thing an Arab or sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches pu­berty, he re­moves his di­a­per and wraps it around his head.

Q. In a demo­cratic so­ci­ety, how im­por­tant are elec­tions?

A. Very im­por­tant. Sex can only hap­pen when a male gets an elec­tion. Q. What hap­pens to your body as you age? A. When you get old, so do your bow­els and you get in­ter­con­ti­nen­tal. Q. What hap­pens to a boy when he reaches pu­berty? A. He says good­bye to his boy­hood and looks for­ward to his adul­tery. Q. What is ar­ti­fi­cial in­sem­i­na­tion? A. When the farmer does it to the bull in­stead of the cow. Q. How can you de­lay milk turn­ing sour? A. Keep it in the cow. Q. What is the most com­mon form of birth con­trol? A. Most peo­ple pre­vent con­tra­cep­tion by wear­ing a con­do­mini­ums. Q. Give the mean­ing of the term “Cae­sarean sec­tion”. A. The Cae­sarean sec­tion is a dis­trict in Rome. Q. What is a seizure? A. A Ro­man Em­peror? (Julius Seizure) Q. What is a ter­mi­nal ill­ness? A. When you are sick at the air­port. Q. What does the word “be­nign” mean? A. Be­nign is what you will be af­ter you be eight. The last and best of them all. If a child re­fuses to take a nap, is he re­sist­ing a rest? Have a won­der­ful New Year and I look for­ward to your con­tin­ual sup­port of Awright Den in 2018.

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