Time for a laugh
OVER THE LAST TWO YEARS, the content of these articles has been quite heavy. Given this is the last article for 2017, I want to do something different and give you something to make you laugh.
Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.
The first bull says: “Boys, we all know I’ve been here five years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don’t know where this newcomer is going to get his cows, but I ain’t’ givin’ him any of mine.”
The second bull says: “That pretty much says it for me, too. I’ve been here three years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we’ve agreed are mine. I’ll fight ’im till I run him off or kill ’im, but I’m keepin’ all my cows.”
The third bull says: “I’ve only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have ten cows to ‘take care of’. I may not be as big as you fellows yet, but I am young and virile, so I simply must keep all my cows.”
They had just finished their big talk when an 18-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture with only one animal in it: the biggest son-of-another-bull they had ever seen! At 4 700 pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to the breaking point.
The first bull says: “Ahem, you know, it’s actually been some time since I really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway. I think I can spare a few for our new friend.”
The second bull says: “I’ll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from him. I’m certainly not looking for an argument.”
They look over at their young friend, the third bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting up a storm. The first bull says: “Son, let me give you some advice real quick. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it.”
The third bull says: “Heck, he can have all my cows. I’m just making sure he knows I’m a bull!”
The questions and answers below were from an exam students took. Q. What is a turbine? A. Something an Arab or sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election. Q. What happens to your body as you age? A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. Q. What is artificial insemination? A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. Q. How can you delay milk turning sour? A. Keep it in the cow. Q. What is the most common form of birth control? A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominiums. Q. Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean section”. A. The Caesarean section is a district in Rome. Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor? (Julius Seizure) Q. What is a terminal illness? A. When you are sick at the airport. Q. What does the word “benign” mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. The last and best of them all. If a child refuses to take a nap, is he resisting a rest? Have a wonderful New Year and I look forward to your continual support of Awright Den in 2018.