Pit bull pun de loose
The other night I came home, parked and was walking toward the house checking my messages on my phone. And while I was on the step by the door I saw a message from my daughter which scared the bejingles out of me.
It said, “Daddy, please be careful when you are coming home, somebody’s pit bull is loose.” She ain’t say poodle, she said a pit bull.
Now, for some reason, when I think about a pit bull I does think ’bout people getting eaten by one, ’cause it seems whenever somebody get attack and half-eaten by a dog it does be a pit bull. Those dogs have a bad reputation. And even though pit bull lovers and owners would tell me that they are adorable animals, I still ain’t want no part of them animals around me.
I prefer take my chances with a vampire, two duppies and a truck load of centipedes, but I don’t even like to see them dogs.
Anyhow, so from the time I read the message I instinctively looked around the same time. And would you believe it, there standing in the road looking at me was Mr Pit Bull.
Well, I ain’t have to tell you how frighten I was. And it is times like those that I wish I only had two keys on my key ring, those being the house key and the car key.
’Cause my bunch of keys got on about seven keys, and with the exception of the car key, all of them look alike. In fact, the only keys I ain’t got on my key ring is a corn beef key and a donkey.
So there I was on the step looking at this pit bull and he looking at me. He standing there looking all big and powerful like the owner does feed it li’l children for breakfast, and with a head as big as the front part of a bus. Then it barked, one loud bark, and this thing did sound like thunder. I certain that people in Port of Spain, Trinidad, heard that bark.
So imagine me now scrambling trying to get in the house and every key I juck in the keyhole is the wrong key. I trembling and trying not to keep too much noise with the keys and attract him any further, but all the time I still trying to keep my eyes on this pit bull. Because if it ever decide to bong at me, I did plan to be the first human to grow wings and fly
Then, I guess Mr Pit Bull was not wearing his glasses and he wanted to take a closer look at me, so he started to walk in my direction. Meanwhile, my heart there racing, and I recollecting stories of people who were attacked by pit bulls. And all I telling myself, “Well, if he attack me I hope he don’t damage any parts of the artillery in the groin area.
You see, I know the madam wouldn’t mind him eating a hand and piece o’ foot, but there were some parts which were definitely not on the menu.
So by this time I literally shaking and bathe in sweat and trying to get the door open and Mr Pit Bull walking towards me. The phone drop out my hand, but that was the least of my worries, if the dog wanted the phone he could have it and use it to order pizza, but just don’t eat me.
Anyhow, he came within a few feet of me. He smelled the car tyres, then stood there looking at me. Then he barked again. I tell you he barked so hard that the garage light came on by itself. He barked and I poop – I ain’t telling no lie, I was that scared.
But then he just turned and walked away. It was as though he came to make sure I got home safe.