Pit bull pun de loose

Daily Nation (Barbados) - - Opinion - Email: mad­deric@hot­mail.com Twit­ter@mad­deric by

The other night I came home, parked and was walk­ing to­ward the house check­ing my mes­sages on my phone. And while I was on the step by the door I saw a mes­sage from my daugh­ter which scared the be­jin­gles out of me.

It said, “Daddy, please be care­ful when you are com­ing home, some­body’s pit bull is loose.” She ain’t say poo­dle, she said a pit bull.

Now, for some rea­son, when I think about a pit bull I does think ’bout peo­ple get­ting eaten by one, ’cause it seems when­ever some­body get at­tack and half-eaten by a dog it does be a pit bull. Those dogs have a bad rep­u­ta­tion. And even though pit bull lovers and own­ers would tell me that they are adorable an­i­mals, I still ain’t want no part of them an­i­mals around me.

I pre­fer take my chances with a vam­pire, two dup­pies and a truck load of cen­tipedes, but I don’t even like to see them dogs.

Any­how, so from the time I read the mes­sage I in­stinc­tively looked around the same time. And would you be­lieve it, there stand­ing in the road look­ing at me was Mr Pit Bull.

Well, I ain’t have to tell you how frighten I was. And it is times like those that I wish I only had two keys on my key ring, those be­ing the house key and the car key.

’Cause my bunch of keys got on about seven keys, and with the ex­cep­tion of the car key, all of them look alike. In fact, the only keys I ain’t got on my key ring is a corn beef key and a don­key.

So there I was on the step look­ing at this pit bull and he look­ing at me. He stand­ing there look­ing all big and pow­er­ful like the owner does feed it li’l chil­dren for break­fast, and with a head as big as the front part of a bus. Then it barked, one loud bark, and this thing did sound like thun­der. I cer­tain that peo­ple in Port of Spain, Trinidad, heard that bark.

So imag­ine me now scram­bling try­ing to get in the house and ev­ery key I juck in the key­hole is the wrong key. I trem­bling and try­ing not to keep too much noise with the keys and at­tract him any fur­ther, but all the time I still try­ing to keep my eyes on this pit bull. Be­cause if it ever de­cide to bong at me, I did plan to be the first hu­man to grow wings and fly

Then, I guess Mr Pit Bull was not wear­ing his glasses and he wanted to take a closer look at me, so he started to walk in my di­rec­tion. Mean­while, my heart there rac­ing, and I rec­ol­lect­ing sto­ries of peo­ple who were at­tacked by pit bulls. And all I telling my­self, “Well, if he at­tack me I hope he don’t dam­age any parts of the ar­tillery in the groin area.

You see, I know the madam wouldn’t mind him eat­ing a hand and piece o’ foot, but there were some parts which were def­i­nitely not on the menu.

So by this time I lit­er­ally shak­ing and bathe in sweat and try­ing to get the door open and Mr Pit Bull walk­ing to­wards me. The phone drop out my hand, but that was the least of my wor­ries, if the dog wanted the phone he could have it and use it to or­der pizza, but just don’t eat me.

Any­how, he came within a few feet of me. He smelled the car tyres, then stood there look­ing at me. Then he barked again. I tell you he barked so hard that the garage light came on by it­self. He barked and I poop – I ain’t telling no lie, I was that scared.

But then he just turned and walked away. It was as though he came to make sure I got home safe.

See ya.

Eric Lewis

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