No ring even af­ter ten years

Daily Nation (Barbados) - - Leisure - – Roni – CHRIS­TINE

Dear Chris­tine, I have been go­ing out with a guy for the past ten years. We have never lived to­gether. He has his place, I have mine. About five years ago, his busi­ness fell on hard times and I was able to help him out. He promised that when things im­proved fi­nan­cially we would get en­gage.

Well, it’s been al­most two years since his fi­nan­cial re­cov­ery and he has still not pro­posed.

Last Christ­mas, he asked me what I wanted. I told him an en­gage­ment ring. Need­less to say, I didn’t get one. When I asked him why, he said he has be­come dis­en­chanted with mar­riage. Many of this man’s friends are un­hap­pily mar­ried and some play the field. How­ever, I don’t un­der­stand what this has to do with us. Why should I be pe­nalised?

I have never pres­sured him into mar­riage, but I think af­ter ten years, there should be some com­mit­ment. He says he loves me and there is no one else. I be­lieve him, but I think we should move to the next level. We’re not com­plete the way things are.

I find my­self get­ting upset with him over lit­tle things, be­cause I am frus­trated. I blame my­self for al­low­ing this to drag on with­out a solid com­mit­ment from him.what do you think, about this sit­u­a­tion? Dear Roni, You’ve al­ready made your thoughts about mar­riage known to this man. I’m not sure what else you can do. He did not keep his prom­ise to get en­gaged and you said he has be­come dis­en­chanted with mar­riage.

I don’t blame you for feel­ing frus­trated. He may be afraid of com­mit­ment and is un­will­ing to take on the le­gal and fi­nan­cial re­spon­si­bil­i­ties of mar­riage. Re­gard­less of the rea­son, what is miss­ing from this re­la­tion­ship is his will­ing­ness to make a le­gal com­mit­ment.

If it’s mar­riage you de­sire, stop hang­ing on to a man who is dis­en­chanted with the in­sti­tu­tion and find one whose val­ues are more in keep­ing with yours.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Barbados

© PressReader. All rights reserved.