No ring even after ten years
Dear Christine, I have been going out with a guy for the past ten years. We have never lived together. He has his place, I have mine. About five years ago, his business fell on hard times and I was able to help him out. He promised that when things improved financially we would get engage.
Well, it’s been almost two years since his financial recovery and he has still not proposed.
Last Christmas, he asked me what I wanted. I told him an engagement ring. Needless to say, I didn’t get one. When I asked him why, he said he has become disenchanted with marriage. Many of this man’s friends are unhappily married and some play the field. However, I don’t understand what this has to do with us. Why should I be penalised?
I have never pressured him into marriage, but I think after ten years, there should be some commitment. He says he loves me and there is no one else. I believe him, but I think we should move to the next level. We’re not complete the way things are.
I find myself getting upset with him over little things, because I am frustrated. I blame myself for allowing this to drag on without a solid commitment from him.what do you think, about this situation? Dear Roni, You’ve already made your thoughts about marriage known to this man. I’m not sure what else you can do. He did not keep his promise to get engaged and you said he has become disenchanted with marriage.
I don’t blame you for feeling frustrated. He may be afraid of commitment and is unwilling to take on the legal and financial responsibilities of marriage. Regardless of the reason, what is missing from this relationship is his willingness to make a legal commitment.
If it’s marriage you desire, stop hanging on to a man who is disenchanted with the institution and find one whose values are more in keeping with yours.