Confused by his no to my proposal
Dear Christine, I HAVE DONE something recently which has me wondering if it was the wisest thing to do; so I am asking you to give me your honest opinion. I proposed to my boyfriend. You see, Christine, I am a young woman who believes in going after what I want. We had been dating for two years and I felt that things between us were getting really serious. We had both connected with each other’s family and we even talked about possibly moving in together.
It may seem odd for a woman to propose, but the truth is, I was also the one who initiated our relationship back in secondary school. Let me say that I am 20 and he is the same age. We are both working, with the hope of going to university in two years’ time. I thought, why not get married before we go off to university? Suffice it to say, he said he wasn’t going to be “the one”.
Hurt by his rejection
I cannot understand why he rejected me, and I don’t know what to do now. I thought I was making a sound decision. I also cannot imagine why he doesn’t want to marry at this stage in life. After two years of going steady I thought we had everything it took to end up marrying each other. Part of me wonders if he will change his mind. Does this seem like a hopeless case? Dear A.H., Yes, this seems like a hopeless case. I must state however, that you are certainly a bold, brave woman.
While you feel ready to make a lifetime commitment, he apparently has not reached that stage of life. I know you’re disappointed, but life doesn’t always go the way we predict it will. Sometimes it turns out even better. So please don’t try to change yourself to accommodate someone who is emotionally unavailable.
It is better that you know now that he is not “the one”, rather than a couple years down the road when you would have invested more time in the relationship.
Accept the answer he has given and move on.