10 Tips for Long-Dis­tance Re­la­tion­ship

THE MAN Magazine Cambodia - - Dating -

10 tips for long-dis­tance love. Long-dis­tance re­la­tion­ships can be chal­leng­ing, un­less you know how to make it work. Dat­ing ex­pert Mitch Con­way shares his tips. This is one of those things that can be tough for even the clos­est of cou­ples: the long dis­tance re­la­tion­ship, where you have a part­ner but be lonely as heck. To make it through a short—or even long term—re­la­tion­ship, you have to be ded­i­cated and per­se­ver­ing. Here are a few tips for mak­ing it.

1. Plan things out ahead of time with your part­ner How are you go­ing to keep in touch? How of­ten will you con­tact each other? Do you want to talk dur­ing set days of the week, or just when your sched­ules per­mit it? Is there a plan for you to meet face-to-face? These are all key ques­tions to ask, be­cause you don’t want one per­son ex­pect­ing daily con­tact, and the other ex­pect­ing a quick chat once a week.

2. Agree on con­tact fre­quency While it’s true that be­ing away from your part­ner is dif­fi­cult, think about how of­ten you would con­tact them if they lived in the same city as you. If the an­swer is a cou­ple times a week, then don’t start call­ing them ev­ery day. Use the phys­i­cal dis­tance be­tween you as a way to keep things ex­cit­ing, and make you anx­ious to hear your soul­mate’s voice or read their email.

3. De­cide on the con­tact media You have to keep in touch. So the ques­tion is: how? Is it go­ing to be email, phone, Skype, Twit­ter, Face­book? The pos­si­bil­i­ties are end­less. But you have to choose some­thing, and stick to it. If you agree with your part­ner that you’ll keep in touch with Face­book, and then you find that you never have time to log on, that’s a big prob­lem. You have to keep it prac­ti­cal and that means us­ing a media that comes nat­u­rally to you.

4. look into EACH OTHER’s eyes Writ­ing and talk­ing are two great ways to com­mu­ni­cate. Noth­ing warms the heart like a touch­ing email, or hear­ing your part­ner’s voice. But it’s just not the same as look­ing into your part­ner’s eyes. So in­vest in a we­b­cam, and add that ex­tra di­men­sion into your long-dis­tance re­la­tion­ship. Even if it’s only for a few min­utes, a face-to-face talk with that spe­cial some­one in your life will keep things alive and fresh.

5. Don’t for­get spe­cial oc­ca­sions

When you spend a long pe­riod of time away from your part­ner, it’s easy to for­get the “re­la­tion­ship” part of your life and fall into a more “me-cen­tric” at­ti­tude. While this may be per­fectly nor­mal, it’s not some­thing you should ac­cept. You have to keep the lit­tle joys of be­ing with some­one alive, and one way to do that is to re­mem­ber spe­cial oc­ca­sions. So, don’t for­get birthdays and an­niver­saries, as well as other oc­ca­sions that are im­por­tant to your part­ner.

6. Use en­dear­ing one-lin­ers to your ad­van­tage What’s a one-liner? Well, in the case of long-dis­tance re­la­tion­ships, it’s not a joke but a quick note writ­ten to your part­ner that’ll make them feel great. It has to be short and sweet, but mean­ing­ful. For ex­am­ple, send off a quick “I love you,” or “I miss you,” or “Just watched our fa­vorite pro­gram and I was think­ing of you!” The goal is to catch your part­ner off guard and bring that warm fuzzy feel­ing to their heart.

7. Break the rules Al­ways re­mem­ber that rules are made to be bro­ken. So if at any time you feel like you’re be­ing pre­dictable—which is the worst thing to be in a long-dis­tance re­la­tion­ship—break the rules. Don’t take any stupid risks, but do some­thing out of the or­di­nary. All re­la­tion­ships get into com­fort­able rou­tines that some­times need to be bro­ken in or­der to keep things from get­ting bor­ing. 8. Don’t let si­lence freak you out Dis­tance has a bad way of am­pli­fy­ing si­lence. An email that takes a day longer than usual to be re­sponded to, or a re­turned call takes a bit more time to come might freak you out. But don’t worry: It’s per­fectly nor­mal. An ex­tra busy day or a sud­den fire at the work­place can keep your part­ner from get­ting to the com­puter or phone. There­fore, the key is for both par­ties to ac­cept the fact that un­ex­pected prob­lems will come up oc­ca­sion­ally and that they will likely de­lay re­sponses, but they’re not (and should not be treated as) a big deal. 9. You’ll get de­pressed, but don’t worry—that’s nor­mal You’re away from your part­ner. You’re here, and they’re some­where else—so guess what? You’re go­ing to get down about it from time to time. Re­al­ize that it’s nor­mal, and that it’s tem­po­rary. Don’t fight the in­evitable, but don’t al­low your­self to get stuck in a funk.

10. Tell them you love them This should be ob­vi­ous, but tell them you love them. Don’t hold back be­cause you’re try­ing to be cool (be­cause you’re not). Just say the words, and mean it ev­ery time.

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