The great (alleged) barbecue heist and other misdeeds
Criminals are rightfully disparaged for committing nefarious and illegal deeds. But some crimes transcend simple criminality and speak to the identity of a nation. Some crimes tell us about who we are — and what we like to do.
We are talking about the great (alleged) Canadian barbecue scam, allegedly involving Jefferey Wilson, a 42-year-old Toronto man. Wilson is accused of having visited several Home Depot stores around the Toronto area beginning in May, where he would allegedly remove the price tag from an el cheapo Weber barbecue (retail $219.19) and affix it to the Weber Genesis, a “high performance” grilling rig that retails for $1,599.
Wilson, police allege, would then use a “fraudulently” obtained Home Depot gift card to purchase the deluxe barbecue for the bargain price — before selling it to the highest bidder on classified ad websites. He has been charged with 18 counts of fraud under $5,000 and possession of property obtained by crime of over $5,000.
The alleged BBQ heist, meanwhile, joins several other notable capers in embracing Canada’s (criminal) zeitgeist.
THE THIRSTY GOALIE
It was mid-August 2016. It was 3:40 a.m. It was a Monday in Russell, Man., home to a notorious unnamed goalie. Said goalie was wearing a mask, a #17 jersey, a blocker, a trapper — and hefting a goalie stick — when security cameras at a gas station beer store captured him crashing through the glass door with an accomplice. The thieves made off with two cases of beer. They remain at large.
THE MAPLE SYRUP BANDITS
Richard Vallieres and his gang, including his father, Ray, stole 2,700 tons worth of maple syrup from a Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup warehouse over an 11-month period, netting $18.7 million worth of syrup. The crime involved a classic switcheroo: the thieves would drain storage barrels of syrup and refill them with water. Vallieres was fined $9.4 million and sentenced to eight years in prison in April.
NOVA SCOTIA’S LOBSTER MAFIA
The sleepy village of Port Mouton was jolted in February when thieves operating under the cover of darkness snuck aboard two lobster boats and vanished with 270 kilograms of fresh lobster with a street value of $6,000. Lobster rustling is not uncommon on the East Coast. Forty-eight crates of fresh lobster were stolen from a storage facility on Cape Sable Island in January 2016. A year prior, Morris Island lost 14 crates to bandits.
MOOSE BUSTERS
Scene: a motorboat, containing what appears to be drunken men, one of whom is perched on the bow of the boat as the boat approaches a moose swimming its way across Tuchodi Lakes near Fort Nelson, B.C. The man in the bow is shirtless. Pale. He sports significant love handles and a farmer’s tan. He pounces on the moose’s back. He raises his fist in triumph. The moose keeps swimming. The man falls off. Much hilarity ensues: “I’ve never seen something so awesome,” one of the men in the boat says, amid great guffaws. Jaysun Pinkerton and Bradley Crook were convicted of harassing wildlife and fined $8,000 in March 2017. A YouTube video of their crime has been viewed almost 2.5 million times.
GREAT SNOWMOBILE ESCAPE
Nova Scotian Cyril Lunn made good in the Massachusetts real estate market as a developer before running afoul of the law. Lunn eluded authorities by crossing the Maine/New Brunswick border in March 2005 via a backwoods trail. His crime was declaring bankruptcy — after he had spent almost 15 years funnelling a US$4-million nest egg into Canada. He was sentenced to 18 months in jail in a Boston courtroom in early June.