AMy dIck­In­son

Do what you want to do

Calgary Sun - - LIFE - — Cu­ri­ouS about Col­la­gen — an­otHer amy — bipo­lar

askamy@amy­dick­in­son.com

What should I do if my sig­nif­i­cant other isn’t sup­port­ive of sur­gi­cal/ cos­metic changes that I want to make to my body?

I’ve flat-out asked him how he would feel if I got lip in­jec­tions (just to test the wa­ters). I want other, more ex­treme pro­ce­dures as well.

He told me that if I had some­thing like that done, he would leave me. I’ve been in a re­la­tion­ship with him for four years, so it kind of hurts my feel­ings that he would drop all that just be­cause I wanted to make a change to my body so that I won’t feel as in­se­cure in it.

He says it would make him feel that I’m not who he thought I was and that it’s vain to do these things. Do you think his feel­ings are jus­ti­fied?

My boyfriend and I (age 50 and 48) are talk­ing about get­ting mar­ried next year. He is a kind, sweet, smart and re­spon­si­ble per­son, and I’m ut­terly be­sot­ted.

The part that has me con­cerned is that his best friend is his mother. He is very in­tro­verted and so he doesn’t have any­one he just “hangs out” with. His whole so­cial life is go­ing to church on Sun­days with his par­ents, singing in the choir, and me. He was pre­vi­ously mar­ried, and be­fore his wife passed away, his whole world re­volved around her (his wife).

This all hit me when he talked about dis­cussing some­thing with his mom that I thought should have been dis­cussed with me first.

His mom is a lovely, sen­si­ble per­son, and we get along great. I’ve just never been in­volved with some­one who is so close to his mom. My own mom passed away when I was in my 20s, and my fa­ther and I are not close. He has yet to meet my dad, or most of my broth­ers.

I’m not sure how to get my head around the idea that his mother re­ally is his best friend -- the per­son he goes to first for ad­vice and com­fort, the way you would your best friend.

He holds down a good job, has his own place, never asks for money, etc. But this just seems odd to me. Or am I the odd one?

What are your thoughts?

“Wait­ing for Sorry” re­ported her his­tory of men­tal ill­ness, and her need for her mother to ac­knowl­edge it.

Thank you for try­ing to re­duce the stigma sur­round­ing men­tal ill­ness. The stigma is what keeps many peo­ple from ac­knowl­edg­ing this re­al­ity.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Canada

© PressReader. All rights reserved.