Par­ents guilty of cod­dling 10-year-old son

Cape Breton Post - - SPORTS -

Dear An­nie: My hus­band’s brother has a 10-year-old son. He’s an only child and still sleeps with his par­ents. He has a per­fectly nice bed­room, but they never got around to mak­ing him sleep by him­self. My brother-in-law trav­els a great deal for work and when he’s away, “ Timmy” sleeps in his mother’s bed. When my brother-in-law is home, one of the par­ents sleeps with Timmy in his bed­room.

Dur­ing the hol­i­days, things hap­pened that caused prob­lems with the cousins. Timmy doesn’t sit at the ta­ble for fam­ily din­ners. He throws tantrums be­cause he doesn’t want to eat what every­one else is eat­ing. Of course, his young cousins then copy him and act up the same way. Also, the chil­dren help with the cleanup — even the youngest takes her plate to the kitchen. Timmy, how­ever, watches TV. No one in­sists that he lift a fin­ger.

Timmy has been di­ag­nosed with ADHD, but doesn’t he still re­quire struc­ture? His par­ents have never said “no” to him. He has more toys than a depart­ment store. He re­ally is a sweet kid, but has few friends, and be­cause he hasn’t been taught bet­ter man­ners, things will only get worse as he gets older. We all feel sorry for this boy.

A few of us have tried talk­ing to his par­ents. They know they should set some bound­aries and work on his be­hav­iour, but they haven’t done so. Any sug­ges­tions? — Con­cerned Fam­ily

Dear Con­cerned: Par­ent­ing is a tough job. It re­quires that par­ents do what is best for their child even if it is dif­fi­cult and tax­ing for them. Your brother-in-law and his wife have de­cided it’s too much ef­fort to re­pro­gram their son, so they al­low him to run the show, and he knows it. Sug­gest they dis­cuss this with the pe­di­a­tri­cian and get a re­fer­ral for a fam­ily coun­sel­lor who will teach them how to be the par­ents their child needs.

Dear An­nie: I will be 15 in a few days. I need to work up the courage to ask my par­ents to get me birth con­trol. I don’t want my folks to think I’m a slut or any­thing. But I also don’t want to make any mis­takes with my love life. I think it’s bet­ter to be safe than sorry. Can you help me find a way to ask them about it? — The Kid With An­gry Par­ents

Dear Kid: Are you al­ready hav­ing sex? Birth con­trol pills con­tain hor­mones, and un­less you need them, there is no point to flood­ing your sys­tem with un­nec­es­sary med­i­ca­tion. You are smart to want to be pre­pared, but we hope you will post­pone in­ti­macy for a lit­tle while longer. You shouldn’t feel rushed or pres­sured. Try talk­ing to your mother pri­vately when she is calm and re­laxed. Ex­plain that you are think­ing about sex and want to be ready. Be sure to tell her that you value her in­put. If you truly lis­ten with an open mind, you both will get through this.

Dear An­nie: I read the let­ter from “Go­ing Gray and Loving It,” who is 45 and doesn’t colour her hair.

I started colour­ing my hair at age 40 to please my hus­band. He said, “It’s not so bad be­ing a grand­fa­ther, but it’s no fun be­ing mar­ried to a grand­mother. Please get rid of the gray.” So, for 30-some years, I was a red­headed “ hot­tie” in his eyes.

Re­cently, af­ter I got smart and tired of colour­ing ev­ery six months, I quit. Guess what? Not one of my sil­ver-haired friends no­ticed the dif­fer­ence. They ac­cept me at face value and love me just the same as when I was an auburn-haired “ beauty.” And I am sure, from up on his cloud, that my hus­band does, too.

I love my sil­vered hair. It goes well with ev­ery­thing and gives me an air of re­spectabil­ity. Nice younger men open doors for me, of­fer to carry my laun­dry bas­ket and smile. Sil­ver hair is the key to kind­ness when it’s needed. — Been There While the Saints and the Colts meet on the turf, have your own Su­per Bowl show­down — per­haps pork ver­sus craw­fish — in the kitchen.

With the big game pit­ting the Indianapolis Colts against the New Orleans Saints, we de­cided to ask chefs from both re­gions for their tips on lo­cal fare to serve while watch­ing Sun­day’s game.

And while New Orleans may seem to have a deeper culi­nary well from which to draw, it turns out Indianapolis holds its own thanks to a se­ri­ous un­der­stand­ing of all things pork (In­di­ana is the fifth largest pro­ducer of pork in the U.S.), es­pe­cially on sand­wiches.

For ex­am­ple, Regina Me­hal­lick, owner and chef at R Bistro in Indianapolis, sug­gests a deep-fried pork ten­der­loin panino with tar­ragon may­on­naise and fen­nel, a riff on the re­gion’s clas­sic pork ten­der­loin sand­wich.

Mean­while, Lay­ton Roberts, ex­ec­u­tive chef at 14 West in Indianapolis, sug­gests work­ing bar­be­cued pork into a plat­ter of na­chos for a sweet and spicy take on the clas­sic Su­per Bowl party food. Roberts said he got the idea from a Las Ve­gas restau­rant.

“ I wouldn’t nor­mally have or­dered that, but I saw it and the waiter was like, ‘Go for the pork,”’ Roberts says. “It was re­ally good. It was nice and sweet, but they had the jalapenos and the cheese and the spice. It was a re­ally good com­bi­na­tion.”

Rep­re­sent­ing the other team, chef Stephen Stry­jew­ski, coowner with Don­ald Link of Co­chon, a New Orleans Ca­jun restau­rant ded­i­cated to the old­style food, sug­gests a clas­sic craw­fish boil.

“It’s still early and they are ex­pen­sive, and not quite as big as they could be, but that’s great for a crowd,” he says.

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