Teen getting cold shoulder but reluctant to break up with boyfriend
Dear Annie: My boyfriend, “Michael,” has been irritating me for the past month. He breaks his promises, goes back on his word, bosses me around like crazy and gets angry and aggressive about everything. He no longer seems fazed if we don’t get to hang out or talk on the phone at night. It appears he doesn’t care anymore, but he claims to be madly in love with me and insists his feelings haven’t changed.
I am a junior in high school, and as young as that may seem, I am in love with Michael. We’ve been together for more than a year and I am confident we are a good match. But these small problems always end up becoming large ones. And it’s always my fault. Michael is a year older, so I assumed he would be more mature about our relationship. I am tired of fighting with him. The arguments are long, depressing and get us absolutely nowhere.
I’m too terrified to lose him, so I don’t want to break up. Talking only seems to make things worse. Do I keep praying and hoping he grows up, or should I walk away? — Young and In Love
Dear Young: Just because Michael is a year older doesn’t mean he is more mature. He also doesn’t sound ready for a permanent relationship, and his rotten behaviour indicates he wants out. You already know this, but you are reluctant to accept it. You should never be “terrified” of breaking up with someone, especially if he isn’t treating you well. Believe this: You can do better. And you have plenty of time to work on it. Tell Michael you think it would be best if both of you had a chance to see what else is out there. We know it will be difficult at first, but we have great faith in your ability to turn this to your advantage.
Dear Annie: My sister-in-law invited herself to our second home in Honolulu for the holidays. She brought her husband, her daughter and her daughter’s friend. They stayed with us for five days. We had a nice time. I gave them sensible gifts and a nice welcoming party with our friends and hula dancers.
Before they left, my sister-inlaw told me her husband had instructed her to give me a nice gift. She had purchased a small necklace and earring set. She gave the earrings to her daughter and the necklace to me, saying, “It’s not chic to wear matching earrings and necklace.” I was insulted, but instead, I put the necklace around my neck and thanked her.
I still have unpleasant feelings about it and am considering sending the necklace back to her with a note saying I want my niece to have it so she can have the whole set. What do you think? — Not-SoMuch Aloha
Dear Aloha: Please don’t. Your sister-in-law may have been less than gracious with her gift, but it will only make things worse if you return it. If you don’t like the necklace, donate it to charity, and don’t waste another second thinking about it.
Dear Annie: The letter from “Gray and Loving It” reminded me of myself. She decided not to colour her hair and wants to know what to say to people who think she is older.
I, too, had decided to go natural with my hair colour. Then two people (in two separate places) mistook me for my husband’s mother. The next day, I went straight to the hair salon and coloured my hair.
I love the new “do” and have received tons of compliments from so many people. The comments range from “I love your new haircut” to “ You look great. What is different?” They don’t notice that I’ve coloured my hair, but they know I look wonderful. I will never go back! — Used to be Gray and Loving It, But Not Anymore VANCOUVER — Most Canadians believe the Vancouver Olympic and Paralympic Games will finish in the red, according to a new Canadian Press Harris-Decima poll.
In a survey conducted last month, 84 per cent of those polled indicated the Games, which begin Friday, will go over budget.
The highest percentage was in British Columbia, where 90 per cent of respondents felt the Games will cost more than expected.
Just three per cent felt the Games would come in under budget and six per cent said they would break even.
“That was a pretty consistent view in all walks of life, in all parts of the country,” said HarrisDecima senior vice-president Doug Anderson.
“It doesn’t matter where you come from, what age you are, there are very few people who buy into the notion that this is going to be on budget, let alone under budget.”
The telephone survey of 1,000 Canadians was conducted Jan. 2124 and has a margin of error of 3.1 per cent, 19 times out of 20.
Anderson said skepticism about the Games budget could be due to many things but it’s probably anchored by persistent memories of the massive cost overruns for the 1976 Summer Olympics in Montreal.
The entire Games ran in the red despite assurances from thenmayor Jean Drapeau that they could not lose money any more than a man could have a baby.
The city finally paid off the debt on the Olympic stadium — the most onerous symbol of the problems that plagued the Games — in 2006.
The 1988 Calgary Winter Olympics actually turned a profit.
Vancouver Olympic organizers say they have not spent more than budgeted for venues, although the city of Richmond laid out tens of millions more to upgrade the speedskating facility and the city of Vancouver, which backed the athlete’s village, saw its budget soar up to $1 billion.
Still, VANOC officials believe the Games themselves will break even if a special $22-million cash injection from the International Olympic Committee is included.
The government and Games organizers don’t include other projects such as the $600-million upgrade of the Sea to Sky Highway to Whistler or the $2-billion Canada Line rapid transit line, which they say would have been built anyway.
“There’s a degree of cynicism sometimes, people waiting for the other shoe to drop,” Anderson said from Ottawa.
The budget for actually staging the Games is $1.75 million, not including $900 million in federal money for security.
An October Harris-Decima poll found 72 per cent of Canadians felt hosting the Games brought more benefits than drawbacks, though only 50 per cent of B.C. residents polled felt that way.
“ This isn’t a question of whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks,” said Anderson. “This is a question strictly about the budget; do you think the budget’s going to be on track?”
And for many, winning hockey gold will make the Games worth it.
While Canada has set a goal of ranking atop the medal standings, 53 per cent of poll respondents said the Games would be a success if the men’s hockey team wins gold even if Canada doesn’t outstrip everyone in the medal count.
Some 35 per cent indicated the Games would not be a success without the men winning gold.