Teen get­ting cold shoul­der but re­luc­tant to break up with boyfriend

Cape Breton Post - - SPORTS -

Dear An­nie: My boyfriend, “Michael,” has been ir­ri­tat­ing me for the past month. He breaks his prom­ises, goes back on his word, bosses me around like crazy and gets an­gry and ag­gres­sive about ev­ery­thing. He no longer seems fazed if we don’t get to hang out or talk on the phone at night. It ap­pears he doesn’t care any­more, but he claims to be madly in love with me and in­sists his feel­ings haven’t changed.

I am a ju­nior in high school, and as young as that may seem, I am in love with Michael. We’ve been to­gether for more than a year and I am con­fi­dent we are a good match. But th­ese small prob­lems al­ways end up be­com­ing large ones. And it’s al­ways my fault. Michael is a year older, so I as­sumed he would be more ma­ture about our re­la­tion­ship. I am tired of fight­ing with him. The ar­gu­ments are long, de­press­ing and get us ab­so­lutely nowhere.

I’m too ter­ri­fied to lose him, so I don’t want to break up. Talk­ing only seems to make things worse. Do I keep pray­ing and hop­ing he grows up, or should I walk away? — Young and In Love

Dear Young: Just be­cause Michael is a year older doesn’t mean he is more ma­ture. He also doesn’t sound ready for a per­ma­nent re­la­tion­ship, and his rot­ten be­hav­iour in­di­cates he wants out. You al­ready know this, but you are re­luc­tant to ac­cept it. You should never be “ter­ri­fied” of break­ing up with some­one, es­pe­cially if he isn’t treat­ing you well. Be­lieve this: You can do bet­ter. And you have plenty of time to work on it. Tell Michael you think it would be best if both of you had a chance to see what else is out there. We know it will be dif­fi­cult at first, but we have great faith in your abil­ity to turn this to your ad­van­tage.

Dear An­nie: My sis­ter-in-law in­vited her­self to our sec­ond home in Honolulu for the hol­i­days. She brought her hus­band, her daugh­ter and her daugh­ter’s friend. They stayed with us for five days. We had a nice time. I gave them sen­si­ble gifts and a nice wel­com­ing party with our friends and hula dancers.

Be­fore they left, my sis­ter-in­law told me her hus­band had in­structed her to give me a nice gift. She had pur­chased a small neck­lace and ear­ring set. She gave the ear­rings to her daugh­ter and the neck­lace to me, say­ing, “It’s not chic to wear match­ing ear­rings and neck­lace.” I was in­sulted, but in­stead, I put the neck­lace around my neck and thanked her.

I still have un­pleas­ant feel­ings about it and am con­sid­er­ing send­ing the neck­lace back to her with a note say­ing I want my niece to have it so she can have the whole set. What do you think? — Not-So­Much Aloha

Dear Aloha: Please don’t. Your sis­ter-in-law may have been less than gra­cious with her gift, but it will only make things worse if you re­turn it. If you don’t like the neck­lace, do­nate it to char­ity, and don’t waste an­other sec­ond think­ing about it.

Dear An­nie: The let­ter from “Gray and Loving It” re­minded me of my­self. She de­cided not to colour her hair and wants to know what to say to peo­ple who think she is older.

I, too, had de­cided to go nat­u­ral with my hair colour. Then two peo­ple (in two sep­a­rate places) mis­took me for my hus­band’s mother. The next day, I went straight to the hair sa­lon and coloured my hair.

I love the new “do” and have re­ceived tons of com­pli­ments from so many peo­ple. The com­ments range from “I love your new hair­cut” to “ You look great. What is dif­fer­ent?” They don’t no­tice that I’ve coloured my hair, but they know I look won­der­ful. I will never go back! — Used to be Gray and Loving It, But Not Any­more VAN­COU­VER — Most Cana­di­ans be­lieve the Van­cou­ver Olympic and Par­a­lympic Games will fin­ish in the red, ac­cord­ing to a new Cana­dian Press Har­ris-Dec­ima poll.

In a sur­vey con­ducted last month, 84 per cent of those polled in­di­cated the Games, which be­gin Fri­day, will go over bud­get.

The high­est per­cent­age was in Bri­tish Columbia, where 90 per cent of re­spon­dents felt the Games will cost more than ex­pected.

Just three per cent felt the Games would come in un­der bud­get and six per cent said they would break even.

“That was a pretty con­sis­tent view in all walks of life, in all parts of the coun­try,” said Har­risDec­ima se­nior vice-pres­i­dent Doug An­der­son.

“It doesn’t mat­ter where you come from, what age you are, there are very few peo­ple who buy into the no­tion that this is go­ing to be on bud­get, let alone un­der bud­get.”

The tele­phone sur­vey of 1,000 Cana­di­ans was con­ducted Jan. 2124 and has a mar­gin of er­ror of 3.1 per cent, 19 times out of 20.

An­der­son said skep­ti­cism about the Games bud­get could be due to many things but it’s prob­a­bly an­chored by per­sis­tent mem­o­ries of the mas­sive cost over­runs for the 1976 Sum­mer Olympics in Montreal.

The en­tire Games ran in the red de­spite as­sur­ances from thenmayor Jean Dra­peau that they could not lose money any more than a man could have a baby.

The city fi­nally paid off the debt on the Olympic sta­dium — the most oner­ous sym­bol of the prob­lems that plagued the Games — in 2006.

The 1988 Cal­gary Win­ter Olympics ac­tu­ally turned a profit.

Van­cou­ver Olympic or­ga­niz­ers say they have not spent more than bud­geted for venues, al­though the city of Rich­mond laid out tens of mil­lions more to up­grade the speed­skat­ing fa­cil­ity and the city of Van­cou­ver, which backed the ath­lete’s vil­lage, saw its bud­get soar up to $1 bil­lion.

Still, VANOC of­fi­cials be­lieve the Games them­selves will break even if a spe­cial $22-mil­lion cash in­jec­tion from the In­ter­na­tional Olympic Com­mit­tee is in­cluded.

The gov­ern­ment and Games or­ga­niz­ers don’t in­clude other projects such as the $600-mil­lion up­grade of the Sea to Sky High­way to Whistler or the $2-bil­lion Canada Line rapid tran­sit line, which they say would have been built any­way.

“There’s a de­gree of cyn­i­cism some­times, peo­ple wait­ing for the other shoe to drop,” An­der­son said from Ottawa.

The bud­get for ac­tu­ally stag­ing the Games is $1.75 mil­lion, not in­clud­ing $900 mil­lion in fed­eral money for se­cu­rity.

An Oc­to­ber Har­ris-Dec­ima poll found 72 per cent of Cana­di­ans felt host­ing the Games brought more ben­e­fits than draw­backs, though only 50 per cent of B.C. res­i­dents polled felt that way.

“ This isn’t a ques­tion of whether the ben­e­fits out­weigh the draw­backs,” said An­der­son. “This is a ques­tion strictly about the bud­get; do you think the bud­get’s go­ing to be on track?”

And for many, winning hockey gold will make the Games worth it.

While Canada has set a goal of rank­ing atop the medal stand­ings, 53 per cent of poll re­spon­dents said the Games would be a suc­cess if the men’s hockey team wins gold even if Canada doesn’t out­strip every­one in the medal count.

Some 35 per cent in­di­cated the Games would not be a suc­cess without the men winning gold.

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