Woman suspicious of fiance’s relationship with married friend
ear Annie: I have been engaged to “Phil” for two years, but we’ve been dating for nine.
I accidentally intercepted a text message from a woman that said, “ Miss you.” Needless to say, this sparked my curiosity. I kept an eye on the phone bill and noticed that this same number showed up several times. When I finally got the nerve to ask about it, Phil said a married woman was pursuing him. He considered her a friend and told her it would never go further.
I believed him, but asked him to stop contacting her. He agreed, but then I saw that he was still calling and texting her. I also happen to know he has asked her to lunch a few times.
Phil rarely works late and never goes anywhere without me. This is creating a huge strain on our relationship. Please tell me — am I naive or just stupid? — Fool for a Fairy Tale
Dear Fool: Neither. You are in love with someone who is not behaving in a trustworthy manner and you know it, but you’re hoping for a less damaging explanation. We wish we could provide it. Insist on premarital counselling before you take another step with this man.
Dear Annie: Recently, two teens in my city committed suicide. They were gifted students who got along well with others. Their families and friends were shocked.
When we have a physical problem, we do not hesitate to seek out a doctor and even discuss it with others. Unfortunately, this often is not the case with mental health issues. We all have times when we have feelings of hopelessness, bouts of depression, grief over a loss, disappointment with ourselves or others, and anxiety or stress that affects our ability to function.
Young people mature physically before they do so emotionally. The six-foot 17-year-old may act like he has it all figured out, but he is still only learning. Our society pays a high price for ignoring mental illness — the student who goes on a rampage and kills others at school, the
Dtalented young person who commits suicide, the kid who turns to drugs or alcohol.
Many of these issues first show up in adolescence. We should have an annual mental health screening for students, along with classes in learning how to effectively cope with everyday life situations. Some mental health problems have a physical component, such as a metabolic disorder, so students should be checked for this also.
Children are our nation’s greatest assets and we should not shortchange them by overemphasizing career goals and high grades, while ignoring their emotional and mental well-being. — Concerned Parent
Dear Parent: We completely agree. Unfortunately, economics dictates where schools spend their money, and there doesn’t seem to be enough to go around. This is why parents must be vigilant — and willing to discuss these things with their children.
Dear Annie: “ The Bad Guy” said her husband’s drunk friend spends the night at their house three or four times a week. You told her to tell him that was too much and if it didn’t stop, she should get a hotel room.
This is her home, too. Perhaps her generous husband should pay for his friend to stay at a hotel. I doubt he’d visit as often. Why should the wife be forced to experience dislodgement and financial expense? — Fargo, N.D.
Dear Fargo: Because you can’t make other people do what you want them to do. She can only control her own actions, not her husband’s or his friend’s. (But she can certainly send him the bill.) TORONTO — Airline passengers with pet allergies should not be forced to share cabin space with dogs and cats, says an editorial published Tuesday in the Canadian Medical Association Journal.
Last summer, Air Canada changed its policy to allow cats and small dogs to travel in the cabin, aligning itself with a WestJet policy.
“Surveys have shown that there’s widespread public support for keeping pets off airplanes, in the cabins, and for those reasons we feel strongly that this is a public health issue that really needs to be addressed thoughtfully,” said Dr. Matthew Stanbrook, a respirologist who co-wrote the editorial.
“Given the importance of air travel for Canadians and those who travel through Canadian airspace, we think that Air Canada needs to rethink its decision or be made to do so by government agencies.”
The Canadian Transportation Agency has received several complaints about the furry four-legged travellers. Alexandre Robertson, a senior communications adviser, said three complaints involve Air Canada, and a fourth pertains to both Air Canada and WestJet.
“Members of the agency are examining those complaints, and we’ll issue decisions required,” he said.
The CMAJ editorial argues that if the agency doesn’t rule in favour of the passengers, then the House of Commons standing