Daughter turns into diappointment
Dear Annie: I have a problem with my oldest daughter. She has always been a selfish child. For years, we did not get along, and many times, we stopped speaking.
She popped back into my life last October through a Facebook chat. She was separated from her husband and had left her teenage children. She blamed everything on him and I believed her.
She visited me one day and asked to borrow my mother's ring, but I said no. I always wore it. Mind you, it's not worth any money. It only has sentimental value. But when she dropped by another night and asked, I said OK. She promised to give it back. After a few weeks went by, I asked her to return it and she claimed I had given it to her to keep. I corrected her and said I only let her borrow it.
She has since blocked me from her phone and Facebook page. Her husband has informed me that she is seeing a man at her job who is 20 years younger, and that she has started partying, drinking and possibly using drugs. He says he barely knows her anymore. I asked her husband to tell her that I want my mother's ring back, but she refused his request as well. I am heartbroken. What can I do? - - Hurt Mom
Dear Mom: Not too much. You voluntarily gave her the ring, which makes it her word against yours that it was only intended to be temporary. You could threaten her with legal action, but actually doing so would cost both of you and might make the relationship irreparable (although we know some readers would think that's a positive outcome).
Some children don't turn out the way we hope, no matter how much we love them. Your daughter sounds like an irresponsible, selfish person. You may need to consider Grandma's ring to be her inheritance, and for your own peace of mind, please try to forgive her.
Dear Annie: I read the letter from "Had Enough," the 68year- old woman who was tired of her husband's demand for sex. She asked how other seniors handled this.
My husband also had a robust sex drive. I lost interest after menopause, but for his sake, pretended all was well. When his progressing Parkinson's disease made it difficult for him to complete the act, I let him know that I had no interest, but I did agree to have sex once a week. I dreaded it, as it became a real chore, but I kept my bargain until he died.
I did this because I under- stood how great his need was, I loved him and he loved me, and he was a considerate sex partner who was always faithful. I came to understand that sex for him was a security blanket. I am glad I made the effort, because I would not want to be living with regrets now that he is gone.
P. S. The night before he died, his last words to me were, "I love you and I want to have more sex." -- Been There in Florida