Worth the search, for help with ED
: My husband’s suffered from erectile dysfunction (ED) since we met in his early 20’s.
We’re 30 now, finally seeking whether there’s an underlying cause.
It’s frustrating when doctors immediately tell him it’s psychological due to his younger age.
One doctor immediately suggested we see a sex therapist. We cannot afford this, and also feel it’s a physical problem, so he’s having tests. If it’s not physical, then we’d explore therapy.
It’s taking an awful toll on my husband’s confidence. But I’m also suffering through this (low confidence that I’m attractive, constantly feeling rejected, wondering if he’s secretly gay).
I need a real-people support group for partners of those suffering with ED. I don’t want an online group.
— Frustrated Spouse
A: Now that you’re finally looking into this and taking tests, don’t turn on your doctor for advice that bothers you, instead, weigh it among the things you do know about ED and try to learn more.
The suggestion of sex therapy wasn’t an insult or blame. It may be helpful for your own frustration, and feelings of hurt, and your husband’s frustration and anxiety about this. Therapy has a place even if there IS a physical cause involved.
The cost for a few sessions can be well worth the gained confidence about resolving the issue. A sex therapist would most likely know if there’s any ED-support group in your area.
To search for yourself, do go online and see if any group meets in person. This may be more likely for the “spouse of,” like yourself to join, than for the actual ED sufferer who might prefer online anonymity.