BONNIE S. BENWICK COOKIE MONSTER’S CRUMBS OF WISDOM
‘Me always make time to follow me passion, working together in perfect cookie harmony’
Like another classic figure in history whose name begins with C: He came, he saw, he conquered. Cookie Monster, at The Washington Post.
Then again, there were no signs of resistance.
The beloved blue Sesame Street character has a new book, you see, called The Joy of Cookies: Cookie Monster’s Guide to Life (Sesame Street Imprint, $16).
It is postcard-size, thick as a flat-iron steak and chock full of aphorisms put through the spin cycle of monster-speak. Me Eat Cookie, Therefore, Me Am.
By non-monster standards he is 49, having evolved, initially unnamed, from an early cast of characters created by the late Muppets founder Jim Henson.
To most of us, though, he is ageless, with a sensibility rooted in gentle humour and innocence.
His message of joy through cookies has been amended in recent years to a state of gustatory correctness. Of course, he recommends a balanced diet. Sure, he eats veg-e-ta-bles. This makes us a little sad, but only until we review the selfies we took with him that day at the office.
In the book itself, he is thoughtful in a way that will circle back to cookies — or any food that can be gobbled with furry hands, just as he is in his “life coach” sessions on YouTube.
Joy has a first printing of 100,000, which is a monster number by any standards and especially for a first-time author who rarely uses articles such as “the.”
You’ll find three recipes tucked in among the monster’s Cookie Truths and Cookie Crumbs of Wisdom.
Composed with varying degrees of finesse — as in, the yield is missing from two out of the three, and is that coconut oil solid or liquefied? — the guidance is just about as breezy as you’d expect.
The most promising and inclusive of the lot were his EveryMonster Cookies, which are vegan, nut-free and gluten-free. We are pretty sure you might not get the recipe to work exactly as written in the book, given the batches of cookie puddles and ersatz florentines we produced in testing.
But we are also thinking Cookie Monster was not intimately involved in the making — only the eating.
Q Cookie Monster’s Guide to Life — why now?
A Well, reporter-type person, over the years Me has had many profound thoughts about cookies. Big, important, delicious thoughts. Me could not just keep them to meself forever!
Q When did you first notice cookies = happiness?
A Back when Me was cute little baby monster. One bite, and Me knew.
Q You dedicated the book to Grandma Monster. Tell us about her.
A Grandma Monster made me the monster Me is today. She taught Me everything Me know. She gave Me me very first cookie! Me use her patented cookie-eating technique to this very day.
Q Judging from your crumby writing, you are widely read and well versed in popular culture — referencing Shakespeare, Erich Segal, John F. Kennedy, The Godfather. When do you find the time?
A Sometimes Me is very busy monster. Me spend time with me friends, read latest books, get some exercise in, catch up on Me prestige television. But Me always make time to follow me passion: Cookies!
Q Yes, you have been a tireless promoter of cookies …
A Thank you for noticing.
Q … but, in fact, you eat everything. Correct?
A Me enjoy a well-balanced diet. Cookies, meat, fish, fruit, veg-eta-bles, cookies … canoe, truck, bicycle … corners of very tasty book … did Me say cookies?
Q Ten years ago, television personality Stephen Colbert accused you of eating his Peabody Award. Care to clear that up? (We have the videotape.)
A No comment. Me not recall. Me can neither confirm nor deny. Me fuzzy on whole matter. Definitely not mentioned on Page 22.
Q Which is better: Making cookies, smelling cookies, baking cookies or eating cookies?
A Me can’t pick just one! All work together in perfect cookie harmony.
Q Tell us the story behind Every-Monster Cookies.
A The only thing better than eating cookies is sharing cookies. Me want to share cookies with all Me friends — even vegan and gluten-free monsters — so Me found perfect recipe that everyone can share.
Q Cookies in bed: Yes or no?
A Yes. Cookies everywhere! In bed, and on couch, and in kitchen, fresh out of oven, with lots of chocolate chippies …. What was question again? Me got distracted.