ELLE (Canada) - - Contents -

Use your words.

In her new mem­oir, The Art of Ask­ing, rocker Amanda Palmer, of Dres­den Dolls fame, re­flects on a lifetime of mak­ing big de­mands and get­ting big­ger re­sults. We asked for her ad­vice on how to han­dle some of life’s thorni­est con­vos.

QMy name is Han­nah, but my part­ner’s grand­mother in­sists on call­ing me Anna. It’s so an­noy­ing! “Imag­ine all the shit this grand­mother has had poured into her brain—all the names, places, events, cats, books, news­pa­pers, wars—over her 85 years. Now for­give her for not be­ing able to re­tain the H.”

QMy bestie took refuge on my couch after a nasty breakup. Three months later, she’s still there. How do I get her to move on with­out ru­in­ing our friend­ship? “Ask. Gen­tly. Give her a lit­tle more time to get out than you’re com­fort­able with. Be an ally and help her apart­ment hunt. Don’t put up the tempt­ing pa­tron­iz­ing-bitch wall. If you ap­proach her out of ac­tual care, she’ll feel it—and she’ll up­root her­self.”

QI lent a vin­tage Dior dress to a friend for a New Year’s Eve party... in 2012. De­spite friendly re­minders, she keeps “for­get­ting” to

re­turn it. “Have din­ner in her area, and, post-dessert, swing by when you know she’ll be home. Or, even bet­ter, lure her to the bar with the prom­ise of a cock­tail. Text a heads-up: ‘Hey! I’m in your

’hood! Will trade shots of vodka for dress!’” ■

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