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Use your words.

In her new memoir, The Art of Asking, rocker Amanda Palmer, of Dresden Dolls fame, reflects on a lifetime of making big demands and getting bigger results. We asked for her advice on how to handle some of life’s thorniest convos.

QMy name is Hannah, but my partner’s grandmother insists on calling me Anna. It’s so annoying! “Imagine all the shit this grandmother has had poured into her brain—all the names, places, events, cats, books, newspapers, wars—over her 85 years. Now forgive her for not being able to retain the H.”

QMy bestie took refuge on my couch after a nasty breakup. Three months later, she’s still there. How do I get her to move on without ruining our friendship? “Ask. Gently. Give her a little more time to get out than you’re comfortable with. Be an ally and help her apartment hunt. Don’t put up the tempting patronizing-bitch wall. If you approach her out of actual care, she’ll feel it—and she’ll uproot herself.”

QI lent a vintage Dior dress to a friend for a New Year’s Eve party... in 2012. Despite friendly reminders, she keeps “forgetting” to

return it. “Have dinner in her area, and, post-dessert, swing by when you know she’ll be home. Or, even better, lure her to the bar with the promise of a cocktail. Text a heads-up: ‘Hey! I’m in your

’hood! Will trade shots of vodka for dress!’” ■