The 36 questions that will change how you feel about yourself.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF FOR SURE?
EARLIER THIS YEAR, The New York Times published a list of 36 questions written by psychologist Arthur Aron that new couples or acquaintances can ask each other if they want to fast-track their relationship (or break up, depending on what’s revealed). We wanted to create a similar questionnaire but have the focus be on self-discovery, so we turned to two psychologists who specialize in studying the self: Gary Lewandowski, Ph.D., a professor at Monmouth University in New Jersey, and Brent Mattingly, Ph.D., an assistant professor at Ursinus College in Pennsylvania. They created the questions based on psychological theories and research. The professors recommend that you consider each question carefully and write down your answers to get the most out of the quiz. Are you ready to discover the real you? h
LIST FIVE ADJECTIVES OR TRAITS THAT DESCRIBE YOU.
LIST FIVE R OLES THAT YOU FULFILL.
LIST FIVE OF YOUR SKILLS AND ABILITIES.
LIST FIVE OF Y OUR POSSESSIONS THAT PROVIDE INSIGHT INTO WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON.
LIST FIVE LIFE EXPERIENCES THA T HAVE HELPED DEFINE WHO Y OU ARE.
LIST FIVE ATTRIBUTES THAT YOU THINK YOUR FAMILY AND CLOSEST FRIENDS WOULD SAY DESCRIBE YOU.
REALITY CHECK “You may have to think deeply to answer some of these questions, but everyone should be able to do it,” says Lewandowski. “Even if you can’t answer right on the spot, the questions will enter into your consciousness and you will continue to think about them. If answering them is a breeze, it indicates that you have a pretty good sense of who you are.” THE FINDINGS “Research shows that having a better sense of self brings tangible benefits like increased happiness and life satisfaction, a better mood and lower stress,” says Mattingly. GO ONE STEP FURTHER Actually reach out to your family and several of your closest friends and ask them to share the five traits that they think best describe you. Then compare and contrast these lists with your own. “People who know themselves well tend to have a list similar to what their friends said,” says Lewandowski. “Sometimes other people can see us more accurately than we see ourselves, and sometimes we define ourselves by how we think other people see us.”
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT WHO Y OU ARE, WHAT ASPECTS OF YOUR PERSONALITY ARE MOST CLEAR TO YOU? IN WHAT WAYS DOES THE “YOU” THAT YOU PRESENT TO THE WORLD MATCH WHO YOU REALLY ARE?
THINK OF THREE EXAMPLES OF WHEN YOU STAYED TRUE T O YOURSELF DESPITE SOCIETAL OR PEER PRESSURE. HO W CAN YOU CONTINUE T O DO THIS? WHAT ARE THREE OF Y OUR MOST IMPORTANT PERSONAL VALUES, AND HOW CAN STANDING BY THESE BELIEFS BENEFIT Y OU IN THE FUTURE? WHAT ASPECTS OF Y OUR PERSONALITY STAY THE SAME REGARDLESS OF THE SITU ATION? LOOK AT THE “YOUR ESSENTIALS” LISTS THAT YOU’VE CREATED FOR QUESTIONS 1 TO 6. DO ANY OF THESE TR AITS CONFLICT WITH WHO Y OU THINK YOU ARE? IF THEY DO, HO W CAN YOU BE