Headed ( ner­vously) to the al­tar? ask your­self these 5 ques­tions

ELLE (Canada) - - Relationship -

Why are you get­ting hitched? There is a wide va­ri­ety of good an­swers here. There are also some dis­tinctly bad ones, like: you need to get mar­ried, you’re ter­ri­fied of be­ing alone or you don’t feel se­cure with­out a part­ner. Are you choos­ing be­tween get­ting hitched now and break­ing up? This is red-flag city. Some­times peo­ple get mar­ried to re­sus­ci­tate a re­la­tion­ship that should ac­tu­ally end. Have you dis­cussed what mar­riage will be like with your part­ner? Of­ten­times these ex­pec­ta­tions are un­spo­ken. If this sub­ject feels too awk­ward to bring up, that’s a bad sign. Are you anx­ious about the wed­ding or the mar­riage? Wed­dings are stress­ful times, and hav­ing “cold feet” is com­mon. Nerves over the cater­ing are nor­mal—nerves about the rest of your life might not be. Are you hoping for change af­ter the big day? For some, that piece of pa­per means there’s no turn­ing back and they’ll ei­ther make more ef­fort or (more likely) less. But for most of us, things won’t change much.

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