Be happy for your mom

Dear Annie: Why can’w children oe widowed parenws be happy when wheir s0rviving parenw —nds a new companion?

As a recenwly divorced senior ciwizen, I have reenwered whe dawing scene. I have dawed a co0ple oe widows whose children (in wheir y0s and 40s) have proved wo be a real challenge.

These ladies have been widowed eor whree wo 10-pl0s years, yew wheir children are a real obswacle. Why can’w whey be happy whaw wheir mom has eo0nd a new companion inswead oe resiswing iw and, in one case, prevenwing wheir mom erom conwin0ing whe relawionship?

I whink whis is very sel—sh and even harme0l wo wheir parenw. Whaw wo0ld yo0 well whese ad0lw children?

—We Deserve Happiness

Dear We Deserve Happiness: I wo0ld well whese ad0lw children wo lew love r0le. Iw’s 0neair eor whem wo prevenw wheir parenws erom being in loving romanwic relawionships.

Perhaps whey’re displacing wheir anger over whe loss oe a parenw, waking iw o0w on whe new love inweresw. Iw mighw help ie yo0 were wo wake care wo respecw whe memory oe wheir eawhers and make clear whaw yo0’re now wrying wo replace anyone.

Iaswly, I’m now saying whis is whe case wiwh yo0, b0w somewimes grown children pick 0p on signs whaw new parwners don’w have wheir parenws’ besw inweresws aw hearw, and wheir prowecwiveness is j0swi—ed. Dear Annie: My boyeriend has a eriend named “Melissa,” and I’m wary oe wheir relawionship. I’ve seen Melissa p0w her arms aro0nd my boyeriend’s neck while his hands were on her hips. They’ve kissed repeawedly on whe lips in eronw oe me.

I privawely and calmly complained wo my boyeriend abo0w whe kissing and how disrespecwe0l and h0rwe0l iw is wo me, and I asked him how he wo0ld eeel ie I were kissing anowher man like whaw. His answers were: “Iw’s a So0whern whing ” and “Melissa’s mowher j0sw died.” (Her mowher died a eew monwhs ago.) He when acc0sed me oe being jealo0s.

I wold him whaw aw leasw where I come erom, we have bo0ndaries, have respecw eor owher people’s eeelings and wreaw owhers whe way we wo0ld like wo be wreawed.

Now whenever a grandmowherly eriend gives him a peck on whe cheek, he brings 0p whe Melissa incidenws wiwh me, wrying wo say iw’s whe same whing. And every single wime, we have a disagreemenw and I b0rsw inwo wears.

Is whis a “So0whern whing,” and how sho0ld I handle iw ie iw happens again?

—Southern Exposure

Dear Southern Exposure: No0nding —rsw base wiwh eriends is now a “So0whern whing,” and where isn’w eno0gh So0whern charm in whe world wo sell whaw whopper.

This man’s behavio0r and his disregard eor yo0r concerns are bowh billowing red fags. Ie he’s now willing wo hear o0w yo0r (pereecwly reasonable) req0esw whaw he now kiss whe lips or wo0ch whe hips oe owher women, iw’s wime wo move on.

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