A Quest for a Sham­poo Bar

Montreal Times - - News - By Tara Palov mtl­times.ca

The phone is ring­ing at Earth to Body head­quar­ters.

“Hi. My name is Chris, call­ing from a cor­rec­tional cen­tre in north­ern Man­i­toba. I came across your web­site and dis­cov­ered that you sell sham­poo bars.We have been gov­ern­ment man­dated to switch from liq­uid sham­poo in bot­tles to an ac­tual sham­poo bar.We thought maybe you might have some­thing for us.” He went on to ex­plain.

“By law, each in­mate is granted a monthly al­lot­ment of bar soap and liq­uid sham­poo. How­ever, some inmates are prac­tic­ing tech­niques at us­ing the liq­uid sham­poo and bot­tle in creative ways that are not con­ducive to ac­cepted be­hav­iour. This be­hav­iour has not only in­volved ag­gres­sion to­wards each other, but also to­wards the guards. We no longer wish to pro­vide them with a liq­uid sham­poo.Thus, our hunt for an al­ter­na­tive to the liq­uid."

My imag­i­na­tion went wild as to the ‘sham­poo an­tics’, but I dared not ask for de­tails. I did venture how­ever. “Can the inmates could use their cur­rent soap bar also as a sham­poo? This would be cost ef­fec­tive for you.” The an­swer was an em­phatic NO. The law re­quired an al­lot­ment of body soap bar AND a hair sham­poo. A ‘one stop shop cleanse’ did not ex­ist, nor was be­ing con­sid­ered.

I sighed, “His­tor­i­cally, a soap bar cleansed the en­tire body. Liq­uid sham­poo did not ex­ist. So a ‘one stop shop’ is not a new in­ven­tion. But clever mar­ket­ing of new prod­ucts led to the con­cept of sep­a­rate cleans­ing prod­ucts. We would love to at­tain a con­tract from you for thou­sands of sham­poo bars. But we make nu­tri­tious sham­poo soap bars, all hand­made, all nat­u­ral in­gre­di­ents that I know your clien­tele would love, but they would be too costly for you. I am sure you pay a few cents for the cur­rent soap bar and you wish to find a sham­poo bar at sim­i­lar or even less cost. It is too bad the law is so rigid be­cause in the long run,‘a one- stop shop soap’ would be cost­ef­fec­tive. I am as­sum­ing your clien­tele are cur­rently us­ing an in­ex­pen­sive chem­i­cal laden liq­uid sham­poo full of many un­de­sir­able in­gre­di­ents. A nat­u­ral and health­ier one would cost too much. I get it. But so would a healthy sham­poo bar like we make. Since you need thou­sands of bars, as the gov­ern­ment man­dated, I know you need to pur­chase your bars at a much bet­ter whole­sale than I can pro­vide.Thank you so much for think­ing of us, Chris. I ap­pre­ci­ate the call and wish we could have worked to­gether."

Chris agrees. I wish him luck on his quest.

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