Once A Year

Moose Jaw Express.com - - News -

It all started when we had to do the back to school rit­ual of shop­ping for school clothes and sup­plies for our two sons, some thirty years ago. The pens, pa­per and pen­cils were easy to sup­ply as both Mrs. B and my­self worked in of­fices… nudge nudge wink wink, even though all their notes were on sta­tion­ary with some sort of cor­po­rate logo. We told them the com­pany was kind of their spon­sor and that seemed to an­swer their cu­rios­ity. Erasers and “white­out” seemed to be our big­gest ex­pense. Even though the boys could do the writ­ing, there seemed to be a lot of cor­rect­ing…just like their daddy. Af­ter the school sup­plies were taken care of, the task of new clothes and shoes had to be ad­dressed. With all the back to school sales, it was a good time to not only up­grade and re­place cloth­ing the kids had grown out of, but to do the same with our own wardrobes as well. I al­ways joke at Christ­mas time that all I want are socks and un­der­wear; the fam­ily knows it is a joke be­cause of our back to school tra­di­tion of the en­tire fam­ily (most of us) get­ting new socks and un­der­wear. What a spe­cial day when the boys and I went on our an­nual ‘socks and skivvies’ day. For some rea­son, still un­known to me, Mom seemed re­luc­tant to be seen in the lady’s un­der­wear sec­tion with any of us. Maybe we were too eager to help her make de­ci­sions. Now that I think about it as they both grew older, both boys seemed to be more re­luc­tant to be seen in the whitey-tighty sec­tion with me. I won­der if that was be­cause I would make them try stuff on and take things for a test walk. Ev­ery year at back to school time, I still go shop­ping for my socks and ginch, as I learned to call my briefs in Saskatchewan. Usu­ally there are few de­ci­sions to be made. I seem to wear out about a six-pack of the same grey coloured work socks in a year. Even though they are mated when bought, they be­come sin­gles the mo­ment they are un­pack­aged. A drawer full of the same sin­gle socks…easy peasy, no de­ci­sion, but(t) when it comes to my man-ties there seems to be trends that are both fash­ion­able and prac­ti­cal.

How can a man’s shorts be fash­ion­able, you ask? If you have ever shared a dress­ing room with a dozen or so team mates, you will know that there are a plethora of styles, colours and pur­poses. Once I thought my su­per­hero box­ers would be the envy of my fel­low old timer hockey bud­dies, but I am sad to say, I suf­fered some ridicule and teas­ing, but at least they no­ticed! I have a pair of “ath­letic” de­signed un­der­wear to be worn with my hockey equip­ment that helps pre­vent ham­string, quad and groin in­juries. They have wide heavy elas­tic bands that keeps soggy old bot­toms from sag­ging and even though I paid al­most $90 for them, they do keep my butt and thighs tight and my old hammy ap­pre­ci­ates the sup­port. The cheap­skate in me thinks I could have bought a lady’s gir­dle for a lot cheaper and ac­com­plished the same thing, but if I thought su­per­hero un­der­wear got me teased, I can’t imag­ine what the dress­ing room would think of me in a lady’s gir­dle. Maybe if I dyed it black. Nope… that might give them more ammo.

New socks and tightie-whities (with no su­per­hero de­signs) in my top drawer and I am rigged and ready for an­other year. Maybe next year su­per­hero undies will be cool for old guys.

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